New Furniture

Creating a post with pictures is so very frustrating to me!! By the time I'm done I have lost the pictures, or the post or some how I've managed to scramble it all together! :)

So, below are pictures of our new furniture.

The first picture is actually of the old furniture moved to a new spot. I think it looks very inviting. I often sit here to read while the kids watch TV. The little puppy likes to sit in my lap. She's allowed to when I sit in these chairs. Some times the Beagle joins us.

The next picture is of the huge table we picked out. It sits 8 people. I love the table but quite honestly don't know what I was thinking. We rarly eat at the table and I can count the number of times I've had guest to eat, on my two hands. (I'm sure I could have done a better grammer job with that sentence. the guest didn't eat on my 2 hands. )

Then the new couch and love seat. It is SO comfortable. I just love cozing up in/on it. It is huge and swallows the tiny living room. We don't care though!

Just before Michael left he told me he didn't like shelves. Folks, we've been married 20 years and I've ALWAYS used shelves to decorate with. Even when he convinced me to sort through the abundance of nick nacks, I've had shelves. Well, the bathrooms had shelves, they never looked completed to me and I was getting new everything eles... So the bathrooms had an over hual as well. We can't paint the walls so about all I could do was change shower curtains and get pictures. In the hall bathroom I got all new, shower curtain, rugs and wall decoration. The pictures are actually scriptures. Most likely not KJV, but close enough that I recognized and was encouraged by the verses. The little squares are Japanese figures. Kevin loves Japanese, so I got those for him. They symbolize happiness and love. He doesn't think they work in there but I do because of the colors.

Then in my bathroom I took pictures that I had stored away and re framed them to hang. All I bought new for in there was decorative towels. On the wall I didn't take a picture of is actually a light house picture that Michael's mother painted for us. It framed and hung very nicely.

Whew! An actual post. Michael and family have been asking for pictures of the furniture, so thanks for letting me share. I feel very blessed. It is all material objects that I can't take to heaven with me, but i am happy and know I am blessed to have them.

Phone Conversation

Husband: I'm going to the city this week end. Would you like for me to get you something?

Wife: Yes! That would be great. I would love a trinket from where you are.

Husband: What would you like? A silk robe?

Wife: A SILK ROBE?! No. I wouldn't like that.

Husband: laughing. OK, what would you like a wrench set?

Wife: Cracking up, realizing just what I said and how he could have taken it. Honey, you buy me what ever you think I should have and I will treasure it.

And you know what? I will!

I really am not a girlly girl; though I'm not the wrench type either.

Today's conversation was great. He made me laugh and when I shared a certain frustration he said he'd take care of it. I'm quite capable of handling the situation, and it would be much easier for me to do. Because you know, he's there and I'm here. But hearing him say he'd handle it made me feel so very loved.

Good Morning

Believe it or not I have nothing to post. :)

Been busy working. I have written several post in my head for your entertainment, but it must not have been real important or entertaining because I can't recall a word of them.

Hope you guys have a terrific week-end.

Friends

I am so thankful for friends! Esp. the people that have chosen to be MY friends.

My friends listen to a LOT of STUFF from me and a lot of it is about my kids.

Two of my friends encouraged me and treated me to dinner one night.

Another friend spent an hour or more on the phone with me giving me good, solid, Godly, experienced wisdom. Did I say thank you?!

Today yet another friend called her friend to come change the tire on my van. All of the people I know that could help either left town or live out in town, not on the base. I would never call someone to drive 30mins to change my tire. I'd take 2 hours to do it myself or knock on a neighbors door. It is a military base after all.

Now about this tire issue. With my old van the hub caps would forever pop off. Michael threatened to just spray paint the wheel wells rather than buy yet another hub cap. So I was very excited when we bought the new van. It has real wheels, no hub caps. Now I only have flat tires rather than lost hub caps. Hmmm... We did actually find a screw in this one, but my driving was being placed under close scrutiny.

In other news and confusion; can someone please tell me why at night before I go to bed I weigh one thing, then in the morning I weigh a whole 5 pounds lighter?! I've always thought that your first morning weight was the most accurate, true weight. Well that's just fine and dandy but it's the end of the day weight that my clothes hang on and every one sees.

Um... I started the post with friends. I hope to never take advantage in a negative way of my friends. I hope to also begin to enjoy my friends with out wearing them out with kid talk. They are very gracious and supportive of my need to vent, rant and spill my guts. Even my blogging buddies have heard a bit of it. One thing has become painfully clear to me. It matters not how much I talk, how much I plan, how much good solid advise that I receive, if I'm not willing to put any of it into action. Oh, I can't even lie to myself any more and exclaim: "I don't know why I can't follow through. I try so hard." Yeah, right.

Shhh.. I have to fear God more than any thing else in my life. It matters NOT what any one thinks, not even you my friends, just God. Fortunately for me God has surrounded me with good solid Godly friends that aren't judging.

Any one have any good suggestions on Bible Studies that focus on the character of GOD.

My church started a new Sunday School Series this Sunday in Proverbs. I was so excited. I even made it to church on time. Grabbed a cup of coffee, exchanged a few pleasantries and my phone vibrates. I'm on call and, yes, it was work calling me in. No, I never did make it back to church.

I did however, have a really pleasant chat with my daughter that gave me hope. She expressed a maturity to me that was impressive. The best part though was what she shared about her beliefs, how they differ from her 'boyfriend' and how she felt about it.

Later that after noon she said that she went to lunch with her boyfriend's family and the Pastor from their church. She felt from listening to conversation that their beliefs are the same as ours. The Trinity. Jesus is the only son of God and He died on the cross for our salvation and forgiveness of our sins. So Q's thoughts are his "own whacked thoughts." Now on the one hand this should disturb me greatly, on the other hand hearing her recognize the situation and talk about it and how it bothers her is a huge praise and opportunity for God with lots of prayer on our part. Yes, all of you and me. ;)

Ok, this post turned into a hodge podge of sorts. I need to go to bed so I can survive another day in the rat race. If I knew how to line through things I'd line through that and restate it as another chance to survive in the next day that the Lord has given me.

My computer is in the shop. Don't know for how long. :(

Thank you for all your support and comments on the last post. My anonymous commenter e-mailed me and explained her comment. I actually agreed with her with the explanation. But I agreed with all of you. ;)

I have found my copy of The Five Love Languages for Children. While my children are no longer children I believe I can glean the same info from it.

Melissa, I did not get your e-mail. When I get my computer back I'll e-mail you.

Grafted Branch, I always receive comments with love. I *love* the way you write. If I throw it out there for the world to see and comment on I have to be ready for what comes my way. Every one so far has been very gracious and honest with me. I like that.

Julie, picked up on what I was already feeling in my heart and I need that affirmation. There was no criticism or opinion that I was wrong. All of your comments indicted that there was a better.

I love the way GB picked up on the she despises you part. At that point that was exactly right. She despised me.

I'm at the library and he's hollering 5 more minutes. Sorry for the misspelling. Maybe when my computer is fixed I'll be out of pity party mode and able to see the graciousness God once again.

Thank you tremendously for your prayers and support.

I'll be able to read your post from work but most likely won't have time to comment.

Have a great rest of the week.

Fried Pickles

Today I took Gabrielle to her orthodontist appointment. I was really looking forward to the day. We made her appointment on time and then we went to Home Depot. Not her favorite place to be, but I needed a couple shelves. I picked up 2 corner shelves and one cheap shelf with 3 decorative brackets. When I saw the cost I wanted to just put it all back. Way too much money for what I got. But that's a post for another time. Gab loves orange chicken but it was too early for lunch and we weren't hungry. I told her I'd been wanting to take her to Applebee's for a dessert there.

"OK, let's have lunch there, mom"

"Great"

As we rode back into town (her ortho appt is 2 hours away) she reminded me about Applebees.

Mom: Let's split a sandwich too.

Gab: OK

We are seated in the restaurant and she ask: Can we get fried pickles?

No, I don't want to buy a sandwich, an appetizer and dessert. What kind of sandwich would you like?

I'm thinking she really likes Applebees and there is a certain sandwich she likes. I'll let her choose the sandwich, but there is no way we can each eat a whole sandwich so we'll just split it. Save money and not waste food. I'm thinking that this is such a fun treat.

Mom: "so what kind of sandwich do you what?
Gab: shoulder shrug
Mom: Oh look there's: and I read several things off the menu.

No interest from Gab. She has totally with drawn from me.

The waiter finally shows up and I order coffee and dessert. She orders a soda.

I am trying really hard not to be upset. I'm thinking I was so looking forward to this. Maybe I should have ordered the pickles. I can't believe she's acting like this just because I said no to pickles. I guess I miss read her interest.

Dessert comes. I'm the only one that eats it. There is no conversation. I make a couple attempts, but it's just too hard. Maybe she really wasn't interested in dessert. I could have ordered the pickles and then I could have enjoyed her. Pickles, no sandwich. I mean it was about being with her, not the food.

Then she ask, can you take me to the store for some bread crumbs?

Mom: No, not tonight I want to go home.

Gab: I was thinking maybe I could make my own pickles.

Mom: We can get some next time I go, but I'm not going tonight.

We make 2 stops on the way home and then I was called to work. I'm sure she's over the whole pickle thing, but I'm still sitting here rolling it over in my head. Why was it such a big deal. Why didn't I just order the pickles? Why did she choose not to join me in what I saw as a gift just because I didn't order pickles. See at first I thought, her change in attitude has nothing to do with the pickles. Until she asked to go to the store so she could make her own.

This is a very typical situation with Gab and I.

It makes me nuts. Sometimes I can just shrug and realize it's just the way she is. Other times, I take it very personally and spend a lot of time wondering if I could of/ should of handled it differently.

That was my day. I probably shouldn't have taken up web space and your time with such nonsense. Then again, it's nice to dump it.

I hope all of you had a wonderful day. Enjoy your week end.

Last Sunday I went to church with a friend. We had made plans for lunch after we each went to our respective churches. I decided at the last minute just to go to her church with her. She was so excited that I changed my mind. As odd as this sounds it was really nice to see some one get excited about being at church with me. While I was there we sang a song that prompted my question: "What's in your heart; faith or fear?" Your answers were encouraging because they were honest; I thought. My answer? FEAR. Why? Of what?

Not of Michael being gone. There is no fear there. For some reason I have this confidence and assurance that he will be home to me. That I will again hold him in my arms and know the security and solidity of my man. No, I don't take that for granted. I know how much my Michael loves His Jesus and how seriously he takes his commitment to me. He loves me.

So that takes me back to fear of what? Fear of failure, not being good enough. Never measuring up. That fear is not of God. I know that scripture tells me that. He will never leave me or forsake me. I am not worthy, I am saved by grace. I am a Princess, a child of THE King. I know that with my head but for some reason unbeknowst to me I doubt it with my heart. That's what allows the fear to take root.

So last Sunday through the preaching and singing at my friend's church I learned that I'm rooted in unreasonable fear.

The last couple of weeks I have come across blogs that talk about prayer. I wish I could link you to them. So I could hear God introducing a new theme to me. There is power in prayer. Prayer can change things. It can take my fear and turn it into faith. Oh don't get me wrong, I got the talking part down. There is nothing I won't say or ask to Jesus in prayer. I tell Him just what I think and ask for it all. I even know that when I'm hurting and my prayers are only just groanings and noise that the Holy Spirit will take that noise and interpret it to Jesus.

No, it's not the talking that's my problem. It's the listening. The being still part. Reading the Bible. Oh I read it. I enjoy the scriptures. But I don't slow down long enough to soak it up and HEAR what Jesus wants me to know.

Today I made it to my church. Both of my children were with me. As one of my friends put it, I was doing the happy dance. Yes, it felt good to be in my church with my kids.

Do you guys remember months ago I wrote a post about Travis. He was a little boy in the Sunday School that I was teaching at the time. He came on the bus and had a really hard time adjusting to being in his class with out his brother. Today, at church he was there with a man. This man introduced himself as Travis' dad. Talk about a happy dance! I was so excited to know that this man was at church with Travis.

Then... during the closing prayer I asked my son to quit making noise. It was a suttle noise, but my eyes were closed and he was bothering me.
He responded with a LOUD whisper that he wasn't making any noise. I am just so very sure that the entire church heard him. He beelined it to the car as soon as amen was said.

When I made it to the car I explained that he was disturbing me, that was why I said something. He told me that if I didn't want to be disturbed at church then I shouldn't bring him, he didn't want to listen to that "Jesus psyco babble". Oh yea. Folks I didn't twist his arm and make him come to church with me. He was very angry about something and he told me it wasn't me. I left the car found a corner to cry in. Got myself together, tracked down my daughter and we left.

The rest of the day went ok, once I was able to choke down the tears enough to pretend all was well.

I'm not sure why I shared all that. Only that my heart breaks for my kids. It takes all I have to keep from thinking that I did some thing wrong in their raising. I have to constantly self talk, reassuring myself that God is big enough to handle the problem. Both of my kids claim a salvation experience. I see no fruit. Again, God is big enough and knows their heart. Here again is my fear, not my faith. God loves my kids far more than I could ever dream of loving them and I love them A LOT!