Friday, December 28, 2007
Nativity
Our first Nativity. The kids could play with this one.
South Western Nativity
Willow Tree Nativity. My Christmas gift this year. Notice how I set it up.
Deep concentration
Yep, much better! The focus of the figurines is now The Christ Child; our reason for having this celebration.
Monday, December 24, 2007
Need Ear Plugs
I know, with out a doubt, that in spite of my Grandfather's lack of hearing, my Grandmother did not cook Christmas Dinner listening to The X-Men at window shattering volumes on surround sound. Just gotta love having my man home.
So far the sausage balls look good and the red velvet cake does too. Course the cake is still in the separate 3 layers with out the icing yet. Icing and stacking is usually when the cake wins and I lose. Unlike my Grandmother though I will serve it anyway. Lopsided or not, it's hard to pass up cream cheese icing.
If you'd like go to U-tube and type in Kylie plays Silent Night. That is my niece playing piano in the mall. From there you can find my extended family singing to me We Wish You A Merry Christmas. Great people. Wish I was with them. Sorry I don't know how to link you over. It is worth the trip if you have time.
Merry Christmas again! If you see me in the next day or two don't be offended if I mostly say, HUH?!
So far the sausage balls look good and the red velvet cake does too. Course the cake is still in the separate 3 layers with out the icing yet. Icing and stacking is usually when the cake wins and I lose. Unlike my Grandmother though I will serve it anyway. Lopsided or not, it's hard to pass up cream cheese icing.
If you'd like go to U-tube and type in Kylie plays Silent Night. That is my niece playing piano in the mall. From there you can find my extended family singing to me We Wish You A Merry Christmas. Great people. Wish I was with them. Sorry I don't know how to link you over. It is worth the trip if you have time.
Merry Christmas again! If you see me in the next day or two don't be offended if I mostly say, HUH?!
Sunday, December 23, 2007
It's Official
Baking and cooking are not my thing! I spent hours in the kitchen the other day, excited to finally have the time to make goodies. Every year I set out to make a plateful of goodies for my friends. Always with the idea of it being a simple inexpensive way to remember people that are special to me. After several flops at several different things I gave up and went to bed.
I whined to my husband about the failure and pondered how in the world my Grandmother managed to do all she did. I was reminded that she too stayed up into the wee hours of the morning. If she were still here on earth I'd ask how old she was when she finally began to get it right on a regular basis.
The next morning I managed to get a good batch of fudge and a cake baked. Then I had more fun making penguins out of olives and cream cheese. (no cooking involved) So I packed up my cake, penguins, and fudge on the same plate and took them to work. I was so proud... until I unwrapped my gift. The fudge had melted a bit and the cake smelled odd to me. I didn't stick around for them to cut it.
So, a baker I am not.
I also came to terms with the fact that I absolutely hate to cook. I have struggled with this for years. When I manage to get a good meal to the table I feel great about myself. It just doesn't come easy for me; it is a lot of work. My husband and daughter can turn out a meal as if it were nothing; and it always taste great. I have to continue to cook like it or not. Our survival kind of sort of depends on it. Advance planning makes a huge difference. (Great post about this at A Day In the Life of A Preacher's Wife; in my side bar.)
My husband has placed a perfect omelet in front of me so I will stop the whining and enjoy.
Fortunately, I do like to clean. It's a good thing, since my daughter and husband do not. You should see my kitchen, I don't look until after I have enjoyed my meal. ;)
I whined to my husband about the failure and pondered how in the world my Grandmother managed to do all she did. I was reminded that she too stayed up into the wee hours of the morning. If she were still here on earth I'd ask how old she was when she finally began to get it right on a regular basis.
The next morning I managed to get a good batch of fudge and a cake baked. Then I had more fun making penguins out of olives and cream cheese. (no cooking involved) So I packed up my cake, penguins, and fudge on the same plate and took them to work. I was so proud... until I unwrapped my gift. The fudge had melted a bit and the cake smelled odd to me. I didn't stick around for them to cut it.
So, a baker I am not.
I also came to terms with the fact that I absolutely hate to cook. I have struggled with this for years. When I manage to get a good meal to the table I feel great about myself. It just doesn't come easy for me; it is a lot of work. My husband and daughter can turn out a meal as if it were nothing; and it always taste great. I have to continue to cook like it or not. Our survival kind of sort of depends on it. Advance planning makes a huge difference. (Great post about this at A Day In the Life of A Preacher's Wife; in my side bar.)
My husband has placed a perfect omelet in front of me so I will stop the whining and enjoy.
Fortunately, I do like to clean. It's a good thing, since my daughter and husband do not. You should see my kitchen, I don't look until after I have enjoyed my meal. ;)
Friday, December 14, 2007
My Man's Home
I'm still here. Not as busy as I think I am, or like to complain that I am. :)
Michael's home. He came home the first of the month. It's been lots of fun having him here.
I was at the gro store when he came home. Gab called and told me he was here. I promptly started to cry and turn circles in the middle of the store. I should have been home; on the other hand I needed to finish at the store if we were to eat that night.
I am at this moment sitting in an empty house. In my head I should be cleaning up, making gro lists and to do list. I am on call and my week end may not be my own. My family, did I tell you my husband is home, are down the hill seeing a movie. My husband has my two grown kids plus three others that tagged along. So wish I could be with them. However, I must sit and wait for the phone to ring. Praying that it doesn't.
I already know that there is a noon case scheduled for Sunday. I'm not sure just how much of an emergency it can be, seeing as how it was scheduled today. Ruins Sunday morning plans. God willing we can go Sunday night to church; esp since my Kevin has expressed a desire to join us. He thinks that there will actually be some one at church that will talk to him. My men are so funny. (weird) They seem to think that people don't talk to them at church, yet every time I seek them out they are engaged in conversation with someone. Course his two best friends are home for the holidays, so there you go.
Did I tell you that Michael is home?! He's the best man I know. I think I'll keep him, warts and all.
Hope you all are having a spectacular week-end.
God Bless you each and every one.
Michael's home. He came home the first of the month. It's been lots of fun having him here.
I was at the gro store when he came home. Gab called and told me he was here. I promptly started to cry and turn circles in the middle of the store. I should have been home; on the other hand I needed to finish at the store if we were to eat that night.
I am at this moment sitting in an empty house. In my head I should be cleaning up, making gro lists and to do list. I am on call and my week end may not be my own. My family, did I tell you my husband is home, are down the hill seeing a movie. My husband has my two grown kids plus three others that tagged along. So wish I could be with them. However, I must sit and wait for the phone to ring. Praying that it doesn't.
I already know that there is a noon case scheduled for Sunday. I'm not sure just how much of an emergency it can be, seeing as how it was scheduled today. Ruins Sunday morning plans. God willing we can go Sunday night to church; esp since my Kevin has expressed a desire to join us. He thinks that there will actually be some one at church that will talk to him. My men are so funny. (weird) They seem to think that people don't talk to them at church, yet every time I seek them out they are engaged in conversation with someone. Course his two best friends are home for the holidays, so there you go.
Did I tell you that Michael is home?! He's the best man I know. I think I'll keep him, warts and all.
Hope you all are having a spectacular week-end.
God Bless you each and every one.
Saturday, December 1, 2007
Graduation
I wish I had a picture to post of the new Marine.
It is so hard to believe that Ryne is now one of the Few, The Proud and The Brave! He is a grown up. He wears the uniform well.
It was so wonderful to be able to be a part of his day!
It is so hard to believe that Ryne is now one of the Few, The Proud and The Brave! He is a grown up. He wears the uniform well.
It was so wonderful to be able to be a part of his day!
Excitment!
Guess What?!
Michael will be with me in person tomorrow! He gets to stay with us one night and then he has to San Diego for 3 or 4 days. Then he gets to come back to me.
He gets to stay with us through Christmas. Then the first of January he goes to Yuma Arizona for a training course. That's 4 hours from us, instead of across country again! He gets to be there for 3 months. I wish you could see me doing the happy dance.
So, on that note I need to go put the place in order and plan a wonderful evening for my man.
Michael will be with me in person tomorrow! He gets to stay with us one night and then he has to San Diego for 3 or 4 days. Then he gets to come back to me.
He gets to stay with us through Christmas. Then the first of January he goes to Yuma Arizona for a training course. That's 4 hours from us, instead of across country again! He gets to be there for 3 months. I wish you could see me doing the happy dance.
So, on that note I need to go put the place in order and plan a wonderful evening for my man.
San Diego Trip
This past Thursday I picked Kevin up from school a little early and headed to San Diego. One of Kevin's really good friends Graduated from Marine Corps Boot Camp Friday November 30th.
I have never been to San Diego by myself. Yes, Kevin was with me but he was along for the ride. He didn't know the way. So off we went with my googled directions. About the time I thought I was lost Michael called me on my cell phone, found where I was on the computer and talked me back to the freeway and told me what I'd see and where I'd turn next. Folks that was a God thing. We were at the peak hours of afternoon traffic and it was unbelievable!
Kevin and I found the base, then found a place to stay, ate and buckled down for the night.
The next morning when we got up it was raining. Not too hard, but raining steady. I made it back to the base and we were really early for the ceremony so we sat in the car.
We caught up with Ryne's family and watched the graduation ceremony from inside. The rain kept it from being outside on the Parade Deck. Bummer! Ryne and his family invited us to join him for lunch. Mishel's husband and son were also there and they were also invited to lunch.
So we all caravaned to the restaurant. As luck would have it I followed the wrong person and realized it when he went on the freeway on ramp. I had been told we wouldn't get on the freeway. Yikes! I pulled to the side and realized the Mishel's husband was behind me. Guess what he had a GPS! I had Ryne's phone # so between the two, Mishel's husband was able to get us to the restaurant.
We had a wonderful time, then it was time to leave. I realized I had no clue where I was at! I knew the names of the roads I needed to be on, but had no clue how to get there! It is still raining hard and steady!
Mishel's husband let me follow him to the freeway and he went home the way I came in so things were familiar to me. The bad news? My windshield wiper was dry rotted. There was still rubber on it but not much.
Once I got on 15 I was feeling good about myself. Granted Mishel's husband got me there, but I was there and I was not freaking out. So I'm driving down this road thinking wha-hoo I did it. Then I realize I have a long way to go and it is raining hard. So I remembered my Jesus and thanked Him profusely for keeping us safe.
We did make it home safely, and it was by the grace of God! By the time I got to the 10, the wipers were no longer doing anything but smearing the water. The huge trucks were blowing water on to my wind shield. Once we got to the 62 the rain had actually stopped. Now the streets were flooded.
I was so thankful to be home! That 3 hour drive turned out to be more like a 5 hour drive. I left being so proud of myself and came home humbled and praising the Lord for how He provided.
I have never been to San Diego by myself. Yes, Kevin was with me but he was along for the ride. He didn't know the way. So off we went with my googled directions. About the time I thought I was lost Michael called me on my cell phone, found where I was on the computer and talked me back to the freeway and told me what I'd see and where I'd turn next. Folks that was a God thing. We were at the peak hours of afternoon traffic and it was unbelievable!
Kevin and I found the base, then found a place to stay, ate and buckled down for the night.
The next morning when we got up it was raining. Not too hard, but raining steady. I made it back to the base and we were really early for the ceremony so we sat in the car.
We caught up with Ryne's family and watched the graduation ceremony from inside. The rain kept it from being outside on the Parade Deck. Bummer! Ryne and his family invited us to join him for lunch. Mishel's husband and son were also there and they were also invited to lunch.
So we all caravaned to the restaurant. As luck would have it I followed the wrong person and realized it when he went on the freeway on ramp. I had been told we wouldn't get on the freeway. Yikes! I pulled to the side and realized the Mishel's husband was behind me. Guess what he had a GPS! I had Ryne's phone # so between the two, Mishel's husband was able to get us to the restaurant.
We had a wonderful time, then it was time to leave. I realized I had no clue where I was at! I knew the names of the roads I needed to be on, but had no clue how to get there! It is still raining hard and steady!
Mishel's husband let me follow him to the freeway and he went home the way I came in so things were familiar to me. The bad news? My windshield wiper was dry rotted. There was still rubber on it but not much.
Once I got on 15 I was feeling good about myself. Granted Mishel's husband got me there, but I was there and I was not freaking out. So I'm driving down this road thinking wha-hoo I did it. Then I realize I have a long way to go and it is raining hard. So I remembered my Jesus and thanked Him profusely for keeping us safe.
We did make it home safely, and it was by the grace of God! By the time I got to the 10, the wipers were no longer doing anything but smearing the water. The huge trucks were blowing water on to my wind shield. Once we got to the 62 the rain had actually stopped. Now the streets were flooded.
I was so thankful to be home! That 3 hour drive turned out to be more like a 5 hour drive. I left being so proud of myself and came home humbled and praising the Lord for how He provided.
Thought Provoking
The other day Kevin and I were having a conversation in the car. He made this statement:
"I like the man, but he worries too much about what other people think. I know we're supposed to protect our testimony, but he goes over board."
We are supposed to protect our testimony as a Christian. We aren't supposed to be a stumbling block to those around us.
My question is this: At what point does that concept leave the arena of protecting your testimony and enter into the arena of fearing what man thinks?
It is hard from me to leave this as is. I want to cite examples and say what I think. Before I share what I think I want to hear your responses.
"I like the man, but he worries too much about what other people think. I know we're supposed to protect our testimony, but he goes over board."
We are supposed to protect our testimony as a Christian. We aren't supposed to be a stumbling block to those around us.
My question is this: At what point does that concept leave the arena of protecting your testimony and enter into the arena of fearing what man thinks?
It is hard from me to leave this as is. I want to cite examples and say what I think. Before I share what I think I want to hear your responses.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Tell Me Please...
...What I already know.
Every so often I go through this stage where I want to move back to Yucca Valley. At this point and time it is cheaper, and I use that word very loosely, to rent a house than to buy one.
Why, do I want to move yet again?
Almost every thing we do is in Yucca Valley--30 to 45 min. from where I live now.
Living in something bigger would be nice.
Not hearing every thing my neighbors do when they are in their bathroom would be a great plus.
My son could possibly walk to school and other places of business. Which means he would actually leave the house from time to time.
Though I am saving some $, not any thing like I thought I would. Why not spend the money living close to friends, in a nice-er home.
Supposedly, if I moved to Yucca Valley my daughter would come home at night. No, I wouldn't move just on that excuse, but it does run across my mind in the whole pro verses con mentality.
See, a home is as nice as the home maker makes it. Doesn't matter where it is or how big it is. I realize that.
Then, tonight when I picked up my son from school he was in a yucky mood. Bad day at school, but "I'll be ok, mom". He likes the idea of moving back into town because then he could "go places with out always being with you". You being me. He was very polite and careful not to hurt my feelings. But let's face it, he's 17 years old and every thing he does is with me. He does go to school and gets along with the kids there but they are all younger than him, live in Yucca Valley and aren't really who he would socialize with away from school any way. Sympathy for yes, sorry for him, no.
Then later tonight he said to me, mom I just wish you didn't work as much. You used to take me to school and pick me up. If you didn't work as much we would have time to go to the gym again.
Hmm...if I stay here in base housing I could cut back on my hours. We finally have the other girls at work trained and they'll be taking call starting this month. So maybe, just maybe I can even leave work on time. Then if I drop just one day a week...
On and on the thoughts go.
So what I know is this: staying in base housing just makes the most financial sense. Being able to cut back my hours and spending as much time with my son his Senor year would be wonderful. Course, I would need to make a concentrated effort to get him out of the house and doing something. That and getting him to focus on school work with motivation and not an attitude of defeat.
Moving to town would be easier for all of us socially. We'd get to church more often, unless of course I had to work all the time to pay the rent.
As much as I would love to have a home in town so I could be close to places and be freer to open my home to friends often; staying on base and cutting back on the work load so I can be with my son more would be worth it. By being with my son, I mean doing something with him. Not just picking him up from school, feeding him something (not usually good/healthy), then nagging him for the next 4 hours to get school work done.
I guess moving would be changing the circumstances but not addressing the problem.
Thanks for listening. :)
Every so often I go through this stage where I want to move back to Yucca Valley. At this point and time it is cheaper, and I use that word very loosely, to rent a house than to buy one.
Why, do I want to move yet again?
Almost every thing we do is in Yucca Valley--30 to 45 min. from where I live now.
Living in something bigger would be nice.
Not hearing every thing my neighbors do when they are in their bathroom would be a great plus.
My son could possibly walk to school and other places of business. Which means he would actually leave the house from time to time.
Though I am saving some $, not any thing like I thought I would. Why not spend the money living close to friends, in a nice-er home.
Supposedly, if I moved to Yucca Valley my daughter would come home at night. No, I wouldn't move just on that excuse, but it does run across my mind in the whole pro verses con mentality.
See, a home is as nice as the home maker makes it. Doesn't matter where it is or how big it is. I realize that.
Then, tonight when I picked up my son from school he was in a yucky mood. Bad day at school, but "I'll be ok, mom". He likes the idea of moving back into town because then he could "go places with out always being with you". You being me. He was very polite and careful not to hurt my feelings. But let's face it, he's 17 years old and every thing he does is with me. He does go to school and gets along with the kids there but they are all younger than him, live in Yucca Valley and aren't really who he would socialize with away from school any way. Sympathy for yes, sorry for him, no.
Then later tonight he said to me, mom I just wish you didn't work as much. You used to take me to school and pick me up. If you didn't work as much we would have time to go to the gym again.
Hmm...if I stay here in base housing I could cut back on my hours. We finally have the other girls at work trained and they'll be taking call starting this month. So maybe, just maybe I can even leave work on time. Then if I drop just one day a week...
On and on the thoughts go.
So what I know is this: staying in base housing just makes the most financial sense. Being able to cut back my hours and spending as much time with my son his Senor year would be wonderful. Course, I would need to make a concentrated effort to get him out of the house and doing something. That and getting him to focus on school work with motivation and not an attitude of defeat.
Moving to town would be easier for all of us socially. We'd get to church more often, unless of course I had to work all the time to pay the rent.
As much as I would love to have a home in town so I could be close to places and be freer to open my home to friends often; staying on base and cutting back on the work load so I can be with my son more would be worth it. By being with my son, I mean doing something with him. Not just picking him up from school, feeding him something (not usually good/healthy), then nagging him for the next 4 hours to get school work done.
I guess moving would be changing the circumstances but not addressing the problem.
Thanks for listening. :)
Saturday, November 24, 2007
Still Here
It has been a long time since I've actually written a post! I was surprised. Even more surprising is all you guys that still check in on me. My site meter shows that. I'd like to say that I have just been too busy...truth: I have been lazy.
I did go to a conference at Ironwood; Woman Counseling Woman Basics. WOW!! Eventually I'll do a whole separate post about it. For now I'll just say this: Over the years I've heard teachings, preachings and things that have created puzzle pieces in my mind. Based on these puzzle pieces I have formed opinions and taken action. This conference took those puzzle pieces and put them together to make a complete picture. Oh My! What a picture. I came home excited to death to get some things done. You know read the Bible in a day, memorize scripture continuously and ask forgiveness for every sin I ever did or thought to do. :cough:
Well, obviously the goal was set a bit too high. Except the forgiveness one, I've already done that. That's the prayer we pray when we realize we are hopeless sinners in need of a Savior.
So my plan was to go through the notebook we used at the conference and re listen to all the CD's. I also bought two other books and a Bible study.
Today I started the Bible study. I have some sin in my life that needs to be acknowledged and repented of. Right now the Lord has shown light in the broad sense: pride, anger and self righteousness. I'm not looking for any thing from you guys. Though one of my biggest sins is fear of man and not fear of the Lord. I just can never bring myself to walk down the aisle of the church Sunday morning and pray at the alter. So, if I may, I am using the Internet as a substitute to prayer at the alter. I am publicly confessing my sin, so that the Lord can begin to work in my heart. I always want this big awesome something to happen. I don't think the Lord works that way. Oh, He can. However, I think as I begin to honestly begin to acknowledge and repent of my sins then I will find that the joy of my Salvation is still there. Though I have stuffed it deep into the depths of a hardened heart, I trust the Lord to begin to soften the layers and bring it to the surface once again. Not for me, but for His Glory.
Forgive me Lord for my unbelief. I didn't realize that a Christian could have unbelief. I thought once you claimed Christ as Saviour that you were a believer. Not so. A believer yes, but still have unbelief. Lack of trust in the promises of the Bible.
This was going to be a short post and I feel my brain beginning to circle. I will be going to church in the morning, so I best be getting to bed.
I am still here. Guess I should add to my list of sins; laziness and gluttony.
Hope ya'll had a great Thanksgiving! Ours was nice and simple.
I did go to a conference at Ironwood; Woman Counseling Woman Basics. WOW!! Eventually I'll do a whole separate post about it. For now I'll just say this: Over the years I've heard teachings, preachings and things that have created puzzle pieces in my mind. Based on these puzzle pieces I have formed opinions and taken action. This conference took those puzzle pieces and put them together to make a complete picture. Oh My! What a picture. I came home excited to death to get some things done. You know read the Bible in a day, memorize scripture continuously and ask forgiveness for every sin I ever did or thought to do. :cough:
Well, obviously the goal was set a bit too high. Except the forgiveness one, I've already done that. That's the prayer we pray when we realize we are hopeless sinners in need of a Savior.
So my plan was to go through the notebook we used at the conference and re listen to all the CD's. I also bought two other books and a Bible study.
Today I started the Bible study. I have some sin in my life that needs to be acknowledged and repented of. Right now the Lord has shown light in the broad sense: pride, anger and self righteousness. I'm not looking for any thing from you guys. Though one of my biggest sins is fear of man and not fear of the Lord. I just can never bring myself to walk down the aisle of the church Sunday morning and pray at the alter. So, if I may, I am using the Internet as a substitute to prayer at the alter. I am publicly confessing my sin, so that the Lord can begin to work in my heart. I always want this big awesome something to happen. I don't think the Lord works that way. Oh, He can. However, I think as I begin to honestly begin to acknowledge and repent of my sins then I will find that the joy of my Salvation is still there. Though I have stuffed it deep into the depths of a hardened heart, I trust the Lord to begin to soften the layers and bring it to the surface once again. Not for me, but for His Glory.
Forgive me Lord for my unbelief. I didn't realize that a Christian could have unbelief. I thought once you claimed Christ as Saviour that you were a believer. Not so. A believer yes, but still have unbelief. Lack of trust in the promises of the Bible.
This was going to be a short post and I feel my brain beginning to circle. I will be going to church in the morning, so I best be getting to bed.
I am still here. Guess I should add to my list of sins; laziness and gluttony.
Hope ya'll had a great Thanksgiving! Ours was nice and simple.
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Great Day
It has indeed been a great day! We enjoyed the play and went to Applebee's afterward.
Gabrielle has been a delight to be with and 'her' young man is really nice. I like how he interacts with us and Kevin seems to get along with him, too.
There is only one thing wrong. Please forgive me a moment of whining.
I miss My Michael!
It is really getting hard, you guys. Please lift us in prayer if and when God calls us to mind. We'll see each other Dec 21st, but that is A.LONG.TIME. from now.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I will encounter various trials that I will count ALL JOY. (grossly paraphrased)
Michael, just in case you still can't pull e-mail, but can read here:
I LOVE YOU!
Gabrielle has been a delight to be with and 'her' young man is really nice. I like how he interacts with us and Kevin seems to get along with him, too.
There is only one thing wrong. Please forgive me a moment of whining.
I miss My Michael!
It is really getting hard, you guys. Please lift us in prayer if and when God calls us to mind. We'll see each other Dec 21st, but that is A.LONG.TIME. from now.
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I will encounter various trials that I will count ALL JOY. (grossly paraphrased)
Michael, just in case you still can't pull e-mail, but can read here:
I LOVE YOU!
If...
... I lived close to my mom we'd have grand fun!
We'd go to church together.
we'd work in each others yards together.
we'd watch each others dogs for free,
we'd bake cookies together at holiday time
if I begged just right we'd make Christmas cards together
I'd be old enough to go to her breakfast club on Saturday's with her
on my day off she'd pop in for coffee
we'd go to my Aunt's house and help her with her many different projects.
we'd do grand silly things for the kids. (mine and my sisters)
we'd drive often together to my sister's house
we'd plan and prepare for all holidays to be held at her house
we'd fuss and fight. We're just too much alike not to. :)
The best part though is we'd live close so when that happened we could just pop in to hug and make up.
That just isn't where the Lord has us though. He knows the big picture that He has for us. For some reason that is me in California and her in Florida. We can't exactly just pop in for a cup of coffee and a hug. Sometimes I don't like His plan. But that's because I can't see the big picture. I have to just trust Him and count it ALL JOY.
We'd go to church together.
we'd work in each others yards together.
we'd watch each others dogs for free,
we'd bake cookies together at holiday time
if I begged just right we'd make Christmas cards together
I'd be old enough to go to her breakfast club on Saturday's with her
on my day off she'd pop in for coffee
we'd go to my Aunt's house and help her with her many different projects.
we'd do grand silly things for the kids. (mine and my sisters)
we'd drive often together to my sister's house
we'd plan and prepare for all holidays to be held at her house
we'd fuss and fight. We're just too much alike not to. :)
The best part though is we'd live close so when that happened we could just pop in to hug and make up.
That just isn't where the Lord has us though. He knows the big picture that He has for us. For some reason that is me in California and her in Florida. We can't exactly just pop in for a cup of coffee and a hug. Sometimes I don't like His plan. But that's because I can't see the big picture. I have to just trust Him and count it ALL JOY.
Happy Birthday...
... to me. How old? If my sister was still 3 she'd declare me "old as dirt!"
I have received several cards from the church. My sister, her children, my Aunt and my mom all signed one of those big fun cards and mailed it to me. There is still a gift at church from my secret pal waiting on me.
My husband called last night, because where he is it was already my birthday. Isn't that odd? We lost signal on the phone, so the call was cut short. I'm just clinging to the knowledge that he called and he will again as soon as he can.
My Gabby came home last night with Greg. They stayed the night. Ok, put the eyebrows down. Gab sleeps with me in my bed and Greg sleeps in her room. Today all three kids are going to the local theater to see 4 one act plays with me. Greg and Gab are more than willing. Kevin agreed but made sure all I wanted from him was his company. I think he's finally getting it. :) We plan to go eat somewhere after the show. I haven't decided where yet. A local place where I'll most likely be the only one to enjoy the meal or a place down the hill that we would all enjoy.
So far it has been a great day. I cooked breakfast for every one.
I hope you guys have a wonderful Sunday!
I have received several cards from the church. My sister, her children, my Aunt and my mom all signed one of those big fun cards and mailed it to me. There is still a gift at church from my secret pal waiting on me.
My husband called last night, because where he is it was already my birthday. Isn't that odd? We lost signal on the phone, so the call was cut short. I'm just clinging to the knowledge that he called and he will again as soon as he can.
My Gabby came home last night with Greg. They stayed the night. Ok, put the eyebrows down. Gab sleeps with me in my bed and Greg sleeps in her room. Today all three kids are going to the local theater to see 4 one act plays with me. Greg and Gab are more than willing. Kevin agreed but made sure all I wanted from him was his company. I think he's finally getting it. :) We plan to go eat somewhere after the show. I haven't decided where yet. A local place where I'll most likely be the only one to enjoy the meal or a place down the hill that we would all enjoy.
So far it has been a great day. I cooked breakfast for every one.
I hope you guys have a wonderful Sunday!
Monday, October 22, 2007
Retreat
This year on impulse and invitation I went on a Ladies retreat with a church that is not my own. We went to Big Bear and I had a wonderful time. I have to be honest; the facilities that my church ladies were retreating to were much nicer. However, the speaker at this retreat was 'spot on'. Her energy and love for Jesus was wonderful and encouraging. I heard that the speaker at the retreat I missed was also awesome. I look forward to tracking down some audios from that retreat and hearing them as well.
The speaker at the Big Bear Retreat made a statement that sort of stuck in my caw. When she said it the first time it hung around in my brain.
You can have as much of God as you want.
Think about that. She followed it with so many other statements that I needed to hear that, that one kind of folded its way to the back of my brain.
Then at one of the meals she stopped at our table and spoke. We thanked her from coming and all that good stuff. Then I said to her, knowing that I was probably revealing more of me than I wanted to, "I so envy your obvious joy and delight in the Lord" She smiled leaned in and said to me, "You can have as much of God as you want."
WOW!! Rather than be embarrassed I was awe struck. Is that not so the truth?! He is right there just waiting to meet me and fill me with as much joy and delight as I can hold or possibly need.
There were many things that she spoke of that I have always heard that for some reason just stuck with me.
Like, how many times have I heard the word picture of how we are being refined as silver. The silver smith holds the silver over the heat until all the impurities are burned out and he can see his reflection in the silver.
God holds us over the heat in the way of trials in an effort to get rid of the impurities, and cause our roots to grow down deep so that He can see His reflection is us.
The things, large and small, that I see as a trial, I am to count it as joy. How many times have I heard this?! Then I went to the book store and picked up a book by Elisabeth George that gave me a visual on just how to do this. I can't wait to sit down and list all the 'trials' that I struggle with from with in and with out, and then check them off in JOY column, not the sorrow column.
Then the very last thing that was reinforced for me was this: We as women tend to set a million little goals for ourselves. I want to be a better mom, better wife, better employee, and any thing else you can think of when what our goal really needs to be is to spend more time in the Word, more time delighting in the LORD. Because when we do, all the other stuff will fall in to place.
So, I can't wait to have supper, visit with my son and then sit down to delight in the LORD. I'm going to read my book, make my list and count it all JOY and then read my Bible. Maybe not in that order. Please fell free to hold me accountable to my commitment.
We all know that it's easy the first day or two home from a week end of pure focus on the LORD. It's when all the responsibilities and habits show up that it gets 'hard'.
Thanks for letting me share. Remember:
We can have as much of God as we want. I just *love* that.
The speaker at the Big Bear Retreat made a statement that sort of stuck in my caw. When she said it the first time it hung around in my brain.
You can have as much of God as you want.
Think about that. She followed it with so many other statements that I needed to hear that, that one kind of folded its way to the back of my brain.
Then at one of the meals she stopped at our table and spoke. We thanked her from coming and all that good stuff. Then I said to her, knowing that I was probably revealing more of me than I wanted to, "I so envy your obvious joy and delight in the Lord" She smiled leaned in and said to me, "You can have as much of God as you want."
WOW!! Rather than be embarrassed I was awe struck. Is that not so the truth?! He is right there just waiting to meet me and fill me with as much joy and delight as I can hold or possibly need.
There were many things that she spoke of that I have always heard that for some reason just stuck with me.
Like, how many times have I heard the word picture of how we are being refined as silver. The silver smith holds the silver over the heat until all the impurities are burned out and he can see his reflection in the silver.
God holds us over the heat in the way of trials in an effort to get rid of the impurities, and cause our roots to grow down deep so that He can see His reflection is us.
The things, large and small, that I see as a trial, I am to count it as joy. How many times have I heard this?! Then I went to the book store and picked up a book by Elisabeth George that gave me a visual on just how to do this. I can't wait to sit down and list all the 'trials' that I struggle with from with in and with out, and then check them off in JOY column, not the sorrow column.
Then the very last thing that was reinforced for me was this: We as women tend to set a million little goals for ourselves. I want to be a better mom, better wife, better employee, and any thing else you can think of when what our goal really needs to be is to spend more time in the Word, more time delighting in the LORD. Because when we do, all the other stuff will fall in to place.
So, I can't wait to have supper, visit with my son and then sit down to delight in the LORD. I'm going to read my book, make my list and count it all JOY and then read my Bible. Maybe not in that order. Please fell free to hold me accountable to my commitment.
We all know that it's easy the first day or two home from a week end of pure focus on the LORD. It's when all the responsibilities and habits show up that it gets 'hard'.
Thanks for letting me share. Remember:
We can have as much of God as we want. I just *love* that.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Happy Ending
On July 10th my Marine moved to a place where the Corps felt he needed to be with out his family. :( He is not in the sandy spot.
On July 15th his check directly deposited into our account. It was double his normal pay. I did expect the check to be more than usual because he would get separation pay. However, I knew this was not right. I called him and he checked into it.
For some reason, when he moved it affected our housing pay. We live on base in military housing so we get a certain amount of housing pay on paper. On said paper it shows that the housing pay is taken right back, never to be seen by us. The benefit is never having to write a check for 'rent'. He was told that I had to handle it on this end through the housing office. No problem. Yea right!!! What I didn't know!
I talked to many people in person and on the phone. Got many conflicting answers. Wrote an e-mail explaining my frustrations, situation and purposed solution so that this didn't happen to another family. Never received a response to my e-mail.
Went to housing to write a check for housing. I was not happy about it, in fact I was livid. But Michael had a good point. They could turn me into a credit agency and ruin our hard earned credit. So I wrote the check.
Went to write another check and was told by the secretary that she couldn't take any more money from me. Interesting. I knew from this, though no one had bothered to communicate with me, that something was being done.
Oct 15th I checked to see that Micheal's pay had been deposited, no pay. Two phone calls confirmed my suspicions. The military was once again deducting our housing pay directly from our check. Yea! That's what I wanted. Course, they are back tracking all the way to July, which took the whole check and will take all of the next. The good news is this Marine Corps wife has been around the block a few times and I set all that money aside.
Today I went to the housing office to have a talk. While I was happy about the change there were a few things that still needed to be straightened out. I was well received and two people spent a good bit of time with me going over the situation. He was able to pull information that I don't have access to and see what was going on. She was able to reassure me that I would be receiving a refund check and the check I wrote, that they held, would be returned to me. They were very nice and prepared for my visit. It was a very pleasant change and experience from the way it all started.
As I started to leave I asked if there was any thing I could do to help keep this from happening again. Something that would be a positive help. The man immediately told me to make sure I tell all the young Marine wives that when they get extra pay in their checks, the Marine Corps is not giving them a gift.
That was actually good advise. If I had been new to the Corps I can see how I would have thought that pay was ours. When Michael left he told me that we would be getting extra pay because we were separated. I could see some young, newly married wife believing that that was the extra pay he mentioned. Let me tell you, it may take a while for the Corps to catch the mistake but when they do they take it all back at once.
I know of only one young lady that reads my blog, that is married to a Marine. She is a very intelligent, creative young lady, and I'm sure she would recognize right away if there was something amiss in her pay. I thought of you immediately. When your Marine goes to that sandy spot, be prepared for your pay to be all jacked up. You may have no problems, but expect it. Keep your power of attorney on your person at all times and don't let any one brush you off.
Whew! That was way more advise than I intended.
In all seriousness. If you know any one in the military that may be deploying, warn the wife that any extra money is most likely a mistake. Also, have some extra put aside, it isn't unusual for the pay to be shorted at first.
Thanks for your eyes and time. :)
On July 15th his check directly deposited into our account. It was double his normal pay. I did expect the check to be more than usual because he would get separation pay. However, I knew this was not right. I called him and he checked into it.
For some reason, when he moved it affected our housing pay. We live on base in military housing so we get a certain amount of housing pay on paper. On said paper it shows that the housing pay is taken right back, never to be seen by us. The benefit is never having to write a check for 'rent'. He was told that I had to handle it on this end through the housing office. No problem. Yea right!!! What I didn't know!
I talked to many people in person and on the phone. Got many conflicting answers. Wrote an e-mail explaining my frustrations, situation and purposed solution so that this didn't happen to another family. Never received a response to my e-mail.
Went to housing to write a check for housing. I was not happy about it, in fact I was livid. But Michael had a good point. They could turn me into a credit agency and ruin our hard earned credit. So I wrote the check.
Went to write another check and was told by the secretary that she couldn't take any more money from me. Interesting. I knew from this, though no one had bothered to communicate with me, that something was being done.
Oct 15th I checked to see that Micheal's pay had been deposited, no pay. Two phone calls confirmed my suspicions. The military was once again deducting our housing pay directly from our check. Yea! That's what I wanted. Course, they are back tracking all the way to July, which took the whole check and will take all of the next. The good news is this Marine Corps wife has been around the block a few times and I set all that money aside.
Today I went to the housing office to have a talk. While I was happy about the change there were a few things that still needed to be straightened out. I was well received and two people spent a good bit of time with me going over the situation. He was able to pull information that I don't have access to and see what was going on. She was able to reassure me that I would be receiving a refund check and the check I wrote, that they held, would be returned to me. They were very nice and prepared for my visit. It was a very pleasant change and experience from the way it all started.
As I started to leave I asked if there was any thing I could do to help keep this from happening again. Something that would be a positive help. The man immediately told me to make sure I tell all the young Marine wives that when they get extra pay in their checks, the Marine Corps is not giving them a gift.
That was actually good advise. If I had been new to the Corps I can see how I would have thought that pay was ours. When Michael left he told me that we would be getting extra pay because we were separated. I could see some young, newly married wife believing that that was the extra pay he mentioned. Let me tell you, it may take a while for the Corps to catch the mistake but when they do they take it all back at once.
I know of only one young lady that reads my blog, that is married to a Marine. She is a very intelligent, creative young lady, and I'm sure she would recognize right away if there was something amiss in her pay. I thought of you immediately. When your Marine goes to that sandy spot, be prepared for your pay to be all jacked up. You may have no problems, but expect it. Keep your power of attorney on your person at all times and don't let any one brush you off.
Whew! That was way more advise than I intended.
In all seriousness. If you know any one in the military that may be deploying, warn the wife that any extra money is most likely a mistake. Also, have some extra put aside, it isn't unusual for the pay to be shorted at first.
Thanks for your eyes and time. :)
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Dissapointment, Relief and Anticipation!
In most post this would be about three different items. In mine, those words describe my emotions surrounding one event.
When Michael left in July we had the understanding that we would see each other again at Christmas time; in some exotic part of the world. First it was Australia then it was Guam and Palau. I spent hours on the computer exploring the possibilities and the cost. However, I never nailed down any specific plans. For some reason I was dragging my feet. While truth be told I would become so over whelmed with it all that I had to just walk away for a while. Once I realized I couldn't make the plans with out help and time was running short, I called a travel agency. Yes, they do still exist but they are a dying commodity. Guess what?! All the nice places to stay in Palau were sold out and the plane fares had doubled! Ouch! Thus, the disappointment. The trip will have to be planned for another time.
Relief came when Michael readily agreed to this decision and was not upset with me. I felt just horrible that I had let this happen. He was very understanding and ok with the whole thing. The pressure of planning the trip was gone as well.
The anticipation of planning the trip and going at another time is fun. Now, I just have to remember my mistake and not repeat it. :) Which means that about mid January I need to start planning for this trip to happen in August some time.
The real anticipation though is in preparing for my husband to be home for Christmas. SHHH!
Let's keep it our secret because quite honestly I have no plans or intentions of sharing him when he's here. ;)
I'm so excited about decorating for Christmas and having the home all cozy and warm for him. Maybe I can even plan a quick get a way while he's here. Some place close to home that we can all go to as a family. I do plan on sharing him with my kids. They need to see their Dad even if they are 'bout grown. I just can't wait.
When Michael left in July we had the understanding that we would see each other again at Christmas time; in some exotic part of the world. First it was Australia then it was Guam and Palau. I spent hours on the computer exploring the possibilities and the cost. However, I never nailed down any specific plans. For some reason I was dragging my feet. While truth be told I would become so over whelmed with it all that I had to just walk away for a while. Once I realized I couldn't make the plans with out help and time was running short, I called a travel agency. Yes, they do still exist but they are a dying commodity. Guess what?! All the nice places to stay in Palau were sold out and the plane fares had doubled! Ouch! Thus, the disappointment. The trip will have to be planned for another time.
Relief came when Michael readily agreed to this decision and was not upset with me. I felt just horrible that I had let this happen. He was very understanding and ok with the whole thing. The pressure of planning the trip was gone as well.
The anticipation of planning the trip and going at another time is fun. Now, I just have to remember my mistake and not repeat it. :) Which means that about mid January I need to start planning for this trip to happen in August some time.
The real anticipation though is in preparing for my husband to be home for Christmas. SHHH!
Let's keep it our secret because quite honestly I have no plans or intentions of sharing him when he's here. ;)
I'm so excited about decorating for Christmas and having the home all cozy and warm for him. Maybe I can even plan a quick get a way while he's here. Some place close to home that we can all go to as a family. I do plan on sharing him with my kids. They need to see their Dad even if they are 'bout grown. I just can't wait.
Houses
As I was in blog land a few days ago I came across a blog with 3 young ladies making a doll house out of a shoe box. I thought that was just the neatest thing. It sent me down memory lane for a bit.
My sister and I used to play Barbie dolls. We would set up in her room. The entire bedroom floor would be covered with our houses. We used any thing and every thing we could get our hands on. It was grand fun. Then we'd leave it up for days.
I can also remember us playing nurse and doctor. This has nothing to do with houses. But thinking of Barbie dolls reminds me of how we used to take our baby dolls and pretend they were sick. I had a Tender Loving Care doll. Remember those; they had the soft 'skin'. I would stick a safety pin in the doll's arm, tie a string to it and then tape the string to the wall. It was her IV. Where I got this from I'll never remember. The really ironic part to me is my sister and I both grew up to be nurses.
Back to the houses. I used to sit for hours and draw these elaborate floor plans of what my house was going to be like when I grew up. What color the carpets would be and the whole nine yards.
Some where along the line I decided that I wanted a doll house. It must have been after I got married. Again, I don't know what started the whole idea. I wanted one of those ones that had all the miniature furnishings. In fact my dad pulled one out of the dumpster and stored it in the rafters of his shop for years. He just knew he could fix it up for me. He never did; maybe I didn't show enough enthusiasm. If I had lived close it would have been an awesome project for us to have done together.
I was looking at a catalog just the other day that had miniature furniture in it. I'm amazed at how expensive the stuff is. Oh but it would be such FUN. I would never be able to decide on what I wanted and once I did I'd be constantly rearranging it.
Being married to the military we constantly move. It is very expensive for us because I have always bought new things for each new place. I try to incorporate what I already have, but new bathroom rugs and towels are so much fun. When I think of the money I have poured into bath rooms and kitchens I could just croak. I always justified the expense because it was for the home.
I have always wanted to own my own home so I could paint the walls and work the yard. Course the brief time that we did own our on home I was too busy to do all that. I did paint two rooms and Michael loved to work in the yard. He had it looking really nice. Then we sold it.
I'll close with this house story. When we lived in South Carolina I was wanting a home really bad. I was very selfish about it. Then we got orders to leave. I can remember thinking; every time I get used to a place and just starting to feel settled, we get orders. Shortly after we got orders I went to church Sunday night. That night the Pastor was allowing a 'kid' that wanted to go into the ministry to preach. I left humbled and in tears. I only remember one sentence from the whole sermon. It was repeated over and over through out his sermon.
I HAVE PREPARED A MANSION FOR YOU IN HEAVEN
OK, LORD. I get it. I may never have a house here on this side of heaven; but by golly I'll have a mansion in heaven. One that my heavenly Father has prepared for me. What more could I ask for.
I have since matured enough to realize it isn't the house; It is the home that is important.
The Lord has allowed my husband to provide for me in every way a house and a home. I am grateful for what has been provided. I am looking forward to that heavenly mansion.
My sister and I used to play Barbie dolls. We would set up in her room. The entire bedroom floor would be covered with our houses. We used any thing and every thing we could get our hands on. It was grand fun. Then we'd leave it up for days.
I can also remember us playing nurse and doctor. This has nothing to do with houses. But thinking of Barbie dolls reminds me of how we used to take our baby dolls and pretend they were sick. I had a Tender Loving Care doll. Remember those; they had the soft 'skin'. I would stick a safety pin in the doll's arm, tie a string to it and then tape the string to the wall. It was her IV. Where I got this from I'll never remember. The really ironic part to me is my sister and I both grew up to be nurses.
Back to the houses. I used to sit for hours and draw these elaborate floor plans of what my house was going to be like when I grew up. What color the carpets would be and the whole nine yards.
Some where along the line I decided that I wanted a doll house. It must have been after I got married. Again, I don't know what started the whole idea. I wanted one of those ones that had all the miniature furnishings. In fact my dad pulled one out of the dumpster and stored it in the rafters of his shop for years. He just knew he could fix it up for me. He never did; maybe I didn't show enough enthusiasm. If I had lived close it would have been an awesome project for us to have done together.
I was looking at a catalog just the other day that had miniature furniture in it. I'm amazed at how expensive the stuff is. Oh but it would be such FUN. I would never be able to decide on what I wanted and once I did I'd be constantly rearranging it.
Being married to the military we constantly move. It is very expensive for us because I have always bought new things for each new place. I try to incorporate what I already have, but new bathroom rugs and towels are so much fun. When I think of the money I have poured into bath rooms and kitchens I could just croak. I always justified the expense because it was for the home.
I have always wanted to own my own home so I could paint the walls and work the yard. Course the brief time that we did own our on home I was too busy to do all that. I did paint two rooms and Michael loved to work in the yard. He had it looking really nice. Then we sold it.
I'll close with this house story. When we lived in South Carolina I was wanting a home really bad. I was very selfish about it. Then we got orders to leave. I can remember thinking; every time I get used to a place and just starting to feel settled, we get orders. Shortly after we got orders I went to church Sunday night. That night the Pastor was allowing a 'kid' that wanted to go into the ministry to preach. I left humbled and in tears. I only remember one sentence from the whole sermon. It was repeated over and over through out his sermon.
I HAVE PREPARED A MANSION FOR YOU IN HEAVEN
OK, LORD. I get it. I may never have a house here on this side of heaven; but by golly I'll have a mansion in heaven. One that my heavenly Father has prepared for me. What more could I ask for.
I have since matured enough to realize it isn't the house; It is the home that is important.
The Lord has allowed my husband to provide for me in every way a house and a home. I am grateful for what has been provided. I am looking forward to that heavenly mansion.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Halloween
It is beginning already. :) The holiday debate season. I thought I'd get in on the act, but not to preach or set forth right and wrongs from my soap box. Just share my experiences.
My birthday is Oct. 28th. Some of my fondest memories are from Halloween nights. My mom celebrated my birthday on Halloween. All my friends would come over in costumes, eat cake and ice cream, watch me open gifts and then we'd set off around the block for Trick or Treating. My dad really got into it for us. He would dress up and act the fool. (If some one would teach me I'd cross out that horrible word and replace it with part.) It was all grand fun.
Then I grew up and had my own kids. What we all considered normal Halloween fun became distorted and dangerous. Then being in church I began to learn more about Halloween and all the things that were said about it and what it represented.
So through the years we've done different things. Some of the churches we attended had Fall Festivals with the games and candy and dressing up as Bible characters. Some times we stayed in and passed out the candy. My kids actually really enjoyed handing out the candy as much as dressing up and walking the neighborhood.
One Halloween, I remember my husband being at work and an older boy trick or treating at my door. It actually frightened me.
Now that my kids are older we just ignore it. We either find something to do away from home or leave all the lights off.
Every now and then my kids will say something that indicates a desire to participate in the Halloween events. Which means I didn't do a very good job of teaching my beliefs. I raised my kids trying to figure out what I really believed about the holiday.
So, based on that I would advise this: take the time to search it out between you and God, before you make any decisions and BEFORE you try to teach it to your kids.
Then, have an alternative plan. Don't try to take away something that the rest of the world sees as normal with out a clear concise reason as to why. I believe having something in place to pull their attention away from what 'every one' else is doing is a must.
I don't think that any of you that read my blog needed to 'hear' any of what I just wrote. ;)
However, I had a need to say it. We are all in different walks of life and in different walks with our Savior. I *love* the sharing of different ideas and approaches. But as Grafted Branch puts it; it is ourselves as individuals that will stand accountable before our God for the decisions that we make.
My birthday is Oct. 28th. Some of my fondest memories are from Halloween nights. My mom celebrated my birthday on Halloween. All my friends would come over in costumes, eat cake and ice cream, watch me open gifts and then we'd set off around the block for Trick or Treating. My dad really got into it for us. He would dress up and act the fool. (If some one would teach me I'd cross out that horrible word and replace it with part.) It was all grand fun.
Then I grew up and had my own kids. What we all considered normal Halloween fun became distorted and dangerous. Then being in church I began to learn more about Halloween and all the things that were said about it and what it represented.
So through the years we've done different things. Some of the churches we attended had Fall Festivals with the games and candy and dressing up as Bible characters. Some times we stayed in and passed out the candy. My kids actually really enjoyed handing out the candy as much as dressing up and walking the neighborhood.
One Halloween, I remember my husband being at work and an older boy trick or treating at my door. It actually frightened me.
Now that my kids are older we just ignore it. We either find something to do away from home or leave all the lights off.
Every now and then my kids will say something that indicates a desire to participate in the Halloween events. Which means I didn't do a very good job of teaching my beliefs. I raised my kids trying to figure out what I really believed about the holiday.
So, based on that I would advise this: take the time to search it out between you and God, before you make any decisions and BEFORE you try to teach it to your kids.
Then, have an alternative plan. Don't try to take away something that the rest of the world sees as normal with out a clear concise reason as to why. I believe having something in place to pull their attention away from what 'every one' else is doing is a must.
I don't think that any of you that read my blog needed to 'hear' any of what I just wrote. ;)
However, I had a need to say it. We are all in different walks of life and in different walks with our Savior. I *love* the sharing of different ideas and approaches. But as Grafted Branch puts it; it is ourselves as individuals that will stand accountable before our God for the decisions that we make.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Good Day
Today I took Kevin to school and helped him study for a Science test. I offered, he accepted.
Then I took Gabrielle to get her work clothes. Two new pair of pants, belt, socks and shoes. It was fun. Then we went to Walmart and picked up a few things. We had a nice breakfast together. Then she had me drive her around a bit to look at rentals. We didn't get out, just drove by a couple. I am learning to just be quiet. I absolutely hate the idea, don't agree with it at all. When she brings up the subject I ask questions and gently shine the light on the negative. Or point out the positives of staying home.
I can't change the past. I can't undo the mistakes that have allowed the thinking that runs in her head. All I can do is stand firm to what I believe is right. I so struggle with that. The enemy has such a foot hold in my mind. I constantly struggle with looking to the future and not mourning the past. If only I had taught this...if only I had stood firm on that.
I do so envy and admire you mothers with young children that are 'doing it right'. I understand that it isn't perfect, that you make mistakes. What I read in your post is a confidence in your own personal walk with the Lord and then I see that shine through in the ways you are raising your children.
Anyhow, we had a great day.
I came home and was able to take care of a housing issue. Sent my husband an e-mail. I have been the proverbial dripping faucet. Poor thing; all the way in Okinawa and he still has to hear the annoying drip...drip...drip. He was very gracious when I spoke to him on the phone about it. He really does love me.
Then I went to pick up Kevin. He passed his test. WHOOO-HOOO!!! He was really worried about it. He hit a really yucky bump in his schooling and needed this positive to help get him over that bump.
I'm on call tonight. There was an after hours case scheduled for 1600 that another girl volunteered to work for me. Boy, do I owe her one!! I'm still on call for the rest of the night, but she covered that one for me.
I am spending time in Psalms. I'm not able to meditate on any thing just yet, but I am reading. There were about 3 right in a row today that really spoke to me heart. God's good that way.
I'm reading my Bible again and following through with some difficult decisions and I can feel Satan knocking around in my head. All those yucky feelings of feeling like a failure and never doing any thing right came to attack my mind this after noon.
Today was a good day. I spent good time with my daughter. I helped my son study for a test. I restored my relationship with my husband. (though I'm not sure he was aware of the yucky)
I spent time with the Lord. Now, I'm going to cook for my family and go to bed. My Gabrielle is home tonight.
Then I took Gabrielle to get her work clothes. Two new pair of pants, belt, socks and shoes. It was fun. Then we went to Walmart and picked up a few things. We had a nice breakfast together. Then she had me drive her around a bit to look at rentals. We didn't get out, just drove by a couple. I am learning to just be quiet. I absolutely hate the idea, don't agree with it at all. When she brings up the subject I ask questions and gently shine the light on the negative. Or point out the positives of staying home.
I can't change the past. I can't undo the mistakes that have allowed the thinking that runs in her head. All I can do is stand firm to what I believe is right. I so struggle with that. The enemy has such a foot hold in my mind. I constantly struggle with looking to the future and not mourning the past. If only I had taught this...if only I had stood firm on that.
I do so envy and admire you mothers with young children that are 'doing it right'. I understand that it isn't perfect, that you make mistakes. What I read in your post is a confidence in your own personal walk with the Lord and then I see that shine through in the ways you are raising your children.
Anyhow, we had a great day.
I came home and was able to take care of a housing issue. Sent my husband an e-mail. I have been the proverbial dripping faucet. Poor thing; all the way in Okinawa and he still has to hear the annoying drip...drip...drip. He was very gracious when I spoke to him on the phone about it. He really does love me.
Then I went to pick up Kevin. He passed his test. WHOOO-HOOO!!! He was really worried about it. He hit a really yucky bump in his schooling and needed this positive to help get him over that bump.
I'm on call tonight. There was an after hours case scheduled for 1600 that another girl volunteered to work for me. Boy, do I owe her one!! I'm still on call for the rest of the night, but she covered that one for me.
I am spending time in Psalms. I'm not able to meditate on any thing just yet, but I am reading. There were about 3 right in a row today that really spoke to me heart. God's good that way.
I'm reading my Bible again and following through with some difficult decisions and I can feel Satan knocking around in my head. All those yucky feelings of feeling like a failure and never doing any thing right came to attack my mind this after noon.
Today was a good day. I spent good time with my daughter. I helped my son study for a test. I restored my relationship with my husband. (though I'm not sure he was aware of the yucky)
I spent time with the Lord. Now, I'm going to cook for my family and go to bed. My Gabrielle is home tonight.
Worth posting all by itself
The Lord is the only one Who will require an accounting about this. What we care or say won't garner you any credibility in His court.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
I'm taking a poll
Most of you that read my blog have younger children. A few of you have grown children and I will probably know your answer to this poll. Please answer any way.
Ask your friends and/or share how your parents handled this with you.
Should an 18 year old girl have a curfew?
Should an 18 year old girl have to pay rent to live at home?
If the 18 year old pays rent should she still have to be in by curfew?
This poll is really futile because a decision has already been made. One that my husband and I made together and agree on. I'm just curious as to how others have handled this point in their life.
Our decision? Well, my decision that he agreed to.
The family has family rules that we all live by. One is coming home at night, the other is you clean up behind yourself.
Curfew is MN, Sunday thru Thursday. Friday and Saturday it is 0100. Abide by the curfew live here for free.
Pay $100 a month and the curfew will be lifted.
This seemed to be a reasonable compromise. She is now looking for a place to rent. Please pray that I keep a cool head, stick to the plan and that there will be no place available for her to rent!
She must also give me $100 a month in order to continue to have car privileges. This one she gets and has no problem with agreeing to. Right now she can have the car on the days that she goes to work only. Once she earns her first pay check and can give me the $100, then she can drive the car when ever she wants.
Oh, silly me, the good news:
SHE HAS A JOB!!!!!
She will be working at Sizzlers, starting Friday.
I always try to start my post in a generic manner, esp if it is of a personal nature. I never can keep it that way though.
So, share with me please what your thoughts on this are. Sometimes it is so very hard for me to stand firm on certain issues. She almost had me swayed into lifting curfew and staying here for free. Can't do it.
Ask your friends and/or share how your parents handled this with you.
Should an 18 year old girl have a curfew?
Should an 18 year old girl have to pay rent to live at home?
If the 18 year old pays rent should she still have to be in by curfew?
This poll is really futile because a decision has already been made. One that my husband and I made together and agree on. I'm just curious as to how others have handled this point in their life.
Our decision? Well, my decision that he agreed to.
The family has family rules that we all live by. One is coming home at night, the other is you clean up behind yourself.
Curfew is MN, Sunday thru Thursday. Friday and Saturday it is 0100. Abide by the curfew live here for free.
Pay $100 a month and the curfew will be lifted.
This seemed to be a reasonable compromise. She is now looking for a place to rent. Please pray that I keep a cool head, stick to the plan and that there will be no place available for her to rent!
She must also give me $100 a month in order to continue to have car privileges. This one she gets and has no problem with agreeing to. Right now she can have the car on the days that she goes to work only. Once she earns her first pay check and can give me the $100, then she can drive the car when ever she wants.
Oh, silly me, the good news:
SHE HAS A JOB!!!!!
She will be working at Sizzlers, starting Friday.
I always try to start my post in a generic manner, esp if it is of a personal nature. I never can keep it that way though.
So, share with me please what your thoughts on this are. Sometimes it is so very hard for me to stand firm on certain issues. She almost had me swayed into lifting curfew and staying here for free. Can't do it.
Finally Made it
... to my first belly dancing class that is. What fun. My instructor told us today that we are to be the visual of the music that is heard. That a really excellent belly dancer will cause you to hear the music with her dance when there is no music to be heard. I really liked the sound of that.
Unfortunately, at this point the music you will visual with my dance will be the equivalent of nails on a chalk board. :) She was showing us a move to make with our necks; of my goodness. Who needs a chiropractor!? You should have heard my neck pop and crack. My shoulders and neck are aching from tightening all those muscles. My lower back is making me ask, oh my what did I do. Belly dancing is supposed to be good for strengthening those lower back muscles.
I was quite the distraction, what with my spontaneous laughter and giggling.
The one thing I didn't like was she kept telling us that we were goddesses. My mind would tell me no, I am a princess, not a goddess. A princess of The King.
It was a very fun experience. I look forward to going again. I seriously doubt that I will lose any weight by just taking this class, however, I will get to laugh and find muscle I forgot I had. ;)
Unfortunately, at this point the music you will visual with my dance will be the equivalent of nails on a chalk board. :) She was showing us a move to make with our necks; of my goodness. Who needs a chiropractor!? You should have heard my neck pop and crack. My shoulders and neck are aching from tightening all those muscles. My lower back is making me ask, oh my what did I do. Belly dancing is supposed to be good for strengthening those lower back muscles.
I was quite the distraction, what with my spontaneous laughter and giggling.
The one thing I didn't like was she kept telling us that we were goddesses. My mind would tell me no, I am a princess, not a goddess. A princess of The King.
It was a very fun experience. I look forward to going again. I seriously doubt that I will lose any weight by just taking this class, however, I will get to laugh and find muscle I forgot I had. ;)
Monday, September 17, 2007
"I can't lead if you won't let me."
Put that feather in your hat and wear it. No thank you very much, it isn't very flattering.
No, it isn't; but it is the truth. Bless his sweet heart for taking a deep breath and saying it, rather than just clamming up and saying nothing.
All the old words were there to throw back. So it's all MY fault?! That's ok, you'll still be held accountable for not stepping up to the plate and being strong.
Then the very small voice that whispered, yea but you'll be held accountable too and you know he's right.
That feather is in my hat like it or not. I'm not yielded to much of anything just now.
Anger overflows and runs down my face in unchecked tears.
I have a choice: blame it on hormones, dig out the prozac, or fall on my face before the Lord.
I ashamed to say I don't want to do any of it.
In all the years of this intense anger that tends to rage with in me, I never feel that my anger is at the Lord. In fact I have taken great pride in the fact that in spite of it all, I'm not angry at the Lord.
Yea, well, lot of good that does me when anger is anger and interferes with all my relationships.
I had let go of this anger. It had actually gone away. When it reared it's ugly head I could recoginze it and calm it.
Now it's back and every thing is feeding it. work, the Marine Corps, my relationship with my daughter, the condition of my house.
I recognize the vicious cycle.
Rather than surrendering and resting I'm up on the balls of my feet, fist clenched and raised, ready to do battle.
Put that feather in your hat and wear it. No thank you very much, it isn't very flattering.
No, it isn't; but it is the truth. Bless his sweet heart for taking a deep breath and saying it, rather than just clamming up and saying nothing.
All the old words were there to throw back. So it's all MY fault?! That's ok, you'll still be held accountable for not stepping up to the plate and being strong.
Then the very small voice that whispered, yea but you'll be held accountable too and you know he's right.
That feather is in my hat like it or not. I'm not yielded to much of anything just now.
Anger overflows and runs down my face in unchecked tears.
I have a choice: blame it on hormones, dig out the prozac, or fall on my face before the Lord.
I ashamed to say I don't want to do any of it.
In all the years of this intense anger that tends to rage with in me, I never feel that my anger is at the Lord. In fact I have taken great pride in the fact that in spite of it all, I'm not angry at the Lord.
Yea, well, lot of good that does me when anger is anger and interferes with all my relationships.
I had let go of this anger. It had actually gone away. When it reared it's ugly head I could recoginze it and calm it.
Now it's back and every thing is feeding it. work, the Marine Corps, my relationship with my daughter, the condition of my house.
I recognize the vicious cycle.
Rather than surrendering and resting I'm up on the balls of my feet, fist clenched and raised, ready to do battle.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Seems I've Blown It Again
My daughter and son rode to church with me tonight. My daughter was on the phone the whole way inviting her new found friends to church. Two of them came.
I sat tall in my seat with my son beside me and my daughter behind me. Her two friends were male and they sang the hymns and followed the scriptures in the Bibles. They didn't bring their Bibles, but just before the sermon Gab slipped out and got all three of them a Bible.
I can not even begin to explain the mother's pride and warm fuzzy feelings that coursed through my body in praise to God.
Then came the fall. After church my daughter came up to me in her tiny black dress and 3 inch heels and says, we are going to go 4 wheeling and then to Eureka Point. It's also very dark. My reflexive response was; "Your going 4 wheeling in that! No, I want you to come home with me."
Needless to say she didn't hear what was in my heart. I had made the assumption that since she came with me she would leave with me. I asked her to please come home with me.
She vollied with this general approach: I don't want to go home and do nothing. I've already told you that I want to make a date to spend time with you. You have to learn to let go of me.
I continued to say Please come home with me. I attempted to express that I just wanted her home. That knowing she was here brought me comfort. Just doing plain ordinary things like finding food to eat, making and eating it together and watching TV together brings me great comfort and peace. Nor did I try to tell her that I had done an admirable job of 'letting her go'. For the last 3 weeks she has been gone every night until at least MN. Not once have I demanded to know where she had been or what she was doing. I would greet her. I would ask how her night was and did she have a good time. In other words I tried to show interest in her life and make conversation.
OK, so how did I blow it? I walked away. Then I back tracked to her and in front of her friends asked them not to take her 4 wheeling in the outfit she was in. Thanked them for bringing her home and then made sure they all heard that I was very angry and hurt. Yes, I embarrassed her and myself.
Then on the way home I cried the gut wretching sobs of broken hearted rejection.
Next I will attempt to write her an apology for my childishness. Then in the same note try to express to her that my desire to have her home tonight was just a desire to be with her. Yes, I would love to make plans to go and do something with her, but sometimes I just like to cozy up knowing that my family is here with me.
I sat tall in my seat with my son beside me and my daughter behind me. Her two friends were male and they sang the hymns and followed the scriptures in the Bibles. They didn't bring their Bibles, but just before the sermon Gab slipped out and got all three of them a Bible.
I can not even begin to explain the mother's pride and warm fuzzy feelings that coursed through my body in praise to God.
Then came the fall. After church my daughter came up to me in her tiny black dress and 3 inch heels and says, we are going to go 4 wheeling and then to Eureka Point. It's also very dark. My reflexive response was; "Your going 4 wheeling in that! No, I want you to come home with me."
Needless to say she didn't hear what was in my heart. I had made the assumption that since she came with me she would leave with me. I asked her to please come home with me.
She vollied with this general approach: I don't want to go home and do nothing. I've already told you that I want to make a date to spend time with you. You have to learn to let go of me.
I continued to say Please come home with me. I attempted to express that I just wanted her home. That knowing she was here brought me comfort. Just doing plain ordinary things like finding food to eat, making and eating it together and watching TV together brings me great comfort and peace. Nor did I try to tell her that I had done an admirable job of 'letting her go'. For the last 3 weeks she has been gone every night until at least MN. Not once have I demanded to know where she had been or what she was doing. I would greet her. I would ask how her night was and did she have a good time. In other words I tried to show interest in her life and make conversation.
OK, so how did I blow it? I walked away. Then I back tracked to her and in front of her friends asked them not to take her 4 wheeling in the outfit she was in. Thanked them for bringing her home and then made sure they all heard that I was very angry and hurt. Yes, I embarrassed her and myself.
Then on the way home I cried the gut wretching sobs of broken hearted rejection.
Next I will attempt to write her an apology for my childishness. Then in the same note try to express to her that my desire to have her home tonight was just a desire to be with her. Yes, I would love to make plans to go and do something with her, but sometimes I just like to cozy up knowing that my family is here with me.
Saturday, September 15, 2007
What a week!!
Monday: Work til 1530. cook dinner watch Tv with Kevin. Sit in ER with Kevin from 2100 to 0100.
Tuesday: Drag Kevin to work with me. At noon assist the Dr. in a minor procedure on my boy. He had an endoscopy and is doing well. We didn't leave work until 1730. Ate fast food came home and watched about 30 mins of TV and crashed!
I missed my first Belly Dancing class because I had to stay late at work and was quite exhausted from the night before.
I have no idea what your reaction is about me taking a belly dancing class. I'm sure it is from one extreme to the other depending on your beliefs and up bringing. So let me quickly reassure you that this is something Michael has wanted me to do for years. When I learned that a community class was being offered right here where I lived, I jumped on it. What better gift to give my husband after a years absence. Unfortunately, I can't keep a secret. Hopefully the anticipation will be a good thing and not a disappointment for him. :)
Wednesday: Back to work. Kevin went to school. I told him I was going to have to medicate him heavily on a regular basis. Other than being a little gun shy about eating he was in a great mood! I was home long enough to get supper made and then called back to work.
Thursday: Kevin and I drove 3 1/2 hours to have his blood work done. This is an out reach program from Illinois that does a compound nutrient program. They will run various test on his blood, urine and hair and then compound a program of vitamins and minerals for him. I've had him on the program before and it is well worth the hassle. I had Gab on it too but getting her to swallow a pill on a regular basis is not worth the hassle. :) I would really like to get me on the program in March. Then we drove home. Got in around 2100 and went right to bed.
Friday: Kevin to school, me to work. What a day! We are having major problems with one of our doctors. We also have new anesthesia providers so we are adjusting and transitioning to them. Not to mention the personality drainers that were already there to begin with. This week at work was more than a little draining. I will leave this one story with you.
Problem doctor arrived to do surgery. Pt in surgery room, awake but medicated for comfort. Procedure begins. The nurse ask pt how she is doing.
Pt: Fine, my bladder is full though.
Nurse: Dr. pt is uncomfortable, please empty her bladder.
Dr.: Huh?
Nurse: repeats, pt uncomfortable. Please empty her bladder.
Dr.: What pt?
Huge pause
Nurse: Um the pt you are doing surgery on. The only pt in the room.
That pretty much sums up my week at work.
Saturday: Today. Kevin and I slept in late. I am still in my PJ's at 1400 and have been on the computer all morning. Kevin wants to go to the church picnic at 1600 so I need to get moving. I had a whole lot I wanted to accomplish today, but after the week we've had; I'm just happy to be out of bed.
My daughter still lives at home though it is very rare that I see her. I kiss her bye in the morning and she kisses me good night when she comes in late at night.
She finally gave Q the full heave hoe. It was very painful for her. I'm glad it's done. She is actually talking to me and sharing her life with me again. Some of it I'd just rather not know, but when she's talking the door is open again and I have some influence. At least that's what I like to think.
She has one last test to take and then she is a full fledged bonafide High School Graduate!!!
Please pray that a job is in her near future!! One that will hire her quickly and then give her Dec 21 thru Jan 7 off.
Guess what!? Tomorrow is Sunday. The beginning of a brand new week!
Dear Lord, this week my focus has been on me and the circumstances that surround me. Forgive me. As this new week begins I pray that my focus will be on you alone. Only you can change the situations at work. Only you can protect my son and motivate him to put school work a priority. Only you can protect my daughter. Only you can give me the wisdom to give them each direction and proper love. I pray for myself a humbled heart and a yielded spirit so that I can be used as a vessel for your purpose and Glory in my family. Thank you so much for keeping my husband safe and close to your heart. Please continue to give him the strength to resist all temptations that are placed before him. Esp., those temptations that come before a man that is seperated from his wife and family. Lord, please be my substitute while Michael is a way. I realize that if he has You he truely doesn't need me at all. Let that be so during this time he is away. Fill his heart and soul with your very presence; mine to. Then when our time is together once again it will be sweeter than anything we could imagine. Thank you Lord for being the Great I AM. Please forgive me for my selfish haughty spirit. Forgive me for being the fix it doer, before I come to you in prayer. Forgive me for all the ugly awful nasty things I have said at work this week. My attitude has dirtied my heart and been a stumbling block for those I work with. Forgive me. Thank you for bringing Gab back to me. Thank you for bringing a Christian influence into her life. Please let it be real and true Lord. Please Lord give me the strength and desire to fear you more than I fear the emotional response of my grown up child.
I love you Lord.
Tuesday: Drag Kevin to work with me. At noon assist the Dr. in a minor procedure on my boy. He had an endoscopy and is doing well. We didn't leave work until 1730. Ate fast food came home and watched about 30 mins of TV and crashed!
I missed my first Belly Dancing class because I had to stay late at work and was quite exhausted from the night before.
I have no idea what your reaction is about me taking a belly dancing class. I'm sure it is from one extreme to the other depending on your beliefs and up bringing. So let me quickly reassure you that this is something Michael has wanted me to do for years. When I learned that a community class was being offered right here where I lived, I jumped on it. What better gift to give my husband after a years absence. Unfortunately, I can't keep a secret. Hopefully the anticipation will be a good thing and not a disappointment for him. :)
Wednesday: Back to work. Kevin went to school. I told him I was going to have to medicate him heavily on a regular basis. Other than being a little gun shy about eating he was in a great mood! I was home long enough to get supper made and then called back to work.
Thursday: Kevin and I drove 3 1/2 hours to have his blood work done. This is an out reach program from Illinois that does a compound nutrient program. They will run various test on his blood, urine and hair and then compound a program of vitamins and minerals for him. I've had him on the program before and it is well worth the hassle. I had Gab on it too but getting her to swallow a pill on a regular basis is not worth the hassle. :) I would really like to get me on the program in March. Then we drove home. Got in around 2100 and went right to bed.
Friday: Kevin to school, me to work. What a day! We are having major problems with one of our doctors. We also have new anesthesia providers so we are adjusting and transitioning to them. Not to mention the personality drainers that were already there to begin with. This week at work was more than a little draining. I will leave this one story with you.
Problem doctor arrived to do surgery. Pt in surgery room, awake but medicated for comfort. Procedure begins. The nurse ask pt how she is doing.
Pt: Fine, my bladder is full though.
Nurse: Dr. pt is uncomfortable, please empty her bladder.
Dr.: Huh?
Nurse: repeats, pt uncomfortable. Please empty her bladder.
Dr.: What pt?
Huge pause
Nurse: Um the pt you are doing surgery on. The only pt in the room.
That pretty much sums up my week at work.
Saturday: Today. Kevin and I slept in late. I am still in my PJ's at 1400 and have been on the computer all morning. Kevin wants to go to the church picnic at 1600 so I need to get moving. I had a whole lot I wanted to accomplish today, but after the week we've had; I'm just happy to be out of bed.
My daughter still lives at home though it is very rare that I see her. I kiss her bye in the morning and she kisses me good night when she comes in late at night.
She finally gave Q the full heave hoe. It was very painful for her. I'm glad it's done. She is actually talking to me and sharing her life with me again. Some of it I'd just rather not know, but when she's talking the door is open again and I have some influence. At least that's what I like to think.
She has one last test to take and then she is a full fledged bonafide High School Graduate!!!
Please pray that a job is in her near future!! One that will hire her quickly and then give her Dec 21 thru Jan 7 off.
Guess what!? Tomorrow is Sunday. The beginning of a brand new week!
Dear Lord, this week my focus has been on me and the circumstances that surround me. Forgive me. As this new week begins I pray that my focus will be on you alone. Only you can change the situations at work. Only you can protect my son and motivate him to put school work a priority. Only you can protect my daughter. Only you can give me the wisdom to give them each direction and proper love. I pray for myself a humbled heart and a yielded spirit so that I can be used as a vessel for your purpose and Glory in my family. Thank you so much for keeping my husband safe and close to your heart. Please continue to give him the strength to resist all temptations that are placed before him. Esp., those temptations that come before a man that is seperated from his wife and family. Lord, please be my substitute while Michael is a way. I realize that if he has You he truely doesn't need me at all. Let that be so during this time he is away. Fill his heart and soul with your very presence; mine to. Then when our time is together once again it will be sweeter than anything we could imagine. Thank you Lord for being the Great I AM. Please forgive me for my selfish haughty spirit. Forgive me for being the fix it doer, before I come to you in prayer. Forgive me for all the ugly awful nasty things I have said at work this week. My attitude has dirtied my heart and been a stumbling block for those I work with. Forgive me. Thank you for bringing Gab back to me. Thank you for bringing a Christian influence into her life. Please let it be real and true Lord. Please Lord give me the strength and desire to fear you more than I fear the emotional response of my grown up child.
I love you Lord.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Good News and Bad News
Good news: I cooked a pound of bacon to freeze for breakfast. Meant for several breakfasts.
Bad News: I only have enough for tomorrows breakfast. That was some GOOD bacon.
Good News: Gabrielle has found that she needs to spend less time with Q and more time with
other friends.
Bad News: I'm not sure her new friends are 'any better'.
Good news: Gab and friends went to lunch.
Bad news: Friends had no $.
Good news: Gabby had money.
Bad news: It was her gas $.
Good news: When the car runs out of gas, she can ride the bus.
Bad news: My phone bill was over $700. YIKES!!!
Good news: AT&T has an international calling plan that I am now signed up for AND he
adjusted my bill so I only have to pay half of the original cost.
Good news: Supper was cooked and consumed. Breakfast muffins are made.
Bad news: (not really) I now need to clean up the mess and freeze the muffins.
Good news: My husband just called. :) He made this statement: I need to remember you do
well with direction. I need to just give you direction and quit throwing you
through the hoops. Oh my, what a revelation. I do so love my man.
The hoop? Where to spend Dec. vacation. For 9 years I have talked about Australia. That's where I've been planning to take us this Christmas Holiday. Michael was in complete agreement. Then he calls and says he hears that the diving is better in Palau. Pa..what?! I was so upset. I do not change gears well at all!! However, my interest was piked and I began to surf the WEB. Oh my Palau is beautiful. The other thing I learned is you have to stop on Guam to get to Palau. Michael is an Air Force brat and learned to dive on Guam. One of the things he's always talked about off and on throughout the years is taking us to Guam and scuba Diving with us there. Being on the beach with us and grilling wings. So, when I realized this was a doable plan I got excited. I expressed this excitement and plan to him on the phone. Tonight he called and said he'd been thinking and wanted to go to Australia. I got upset. He was only thinking of me. What I said before had sank in and he realized that Australia was something I had wanted to do for a long time. Unfortunately, I had already switched gears and was excited about being able to fulfil one of his dreams as well as being able to vacation in what I would call a dream. Some place that I would have only dreamed to be possible. Once he realized, he backed up. That is when he said that he needed to quit putting me thru hoops. He plainly and clearly stated that he wanted to go to Palau via Guam. Now, I have direction and can move forward toward a goal that will make us all happy. That's my job isn't it?! To please my man?!
I have no idea what kind of sense this does or doesn't make, I do know that the good news is:
My husband loves me!!
Such a simple statement of truth; I just need to give you direction and stick with it. That so works for me!
Okay, so now I need to clean up dinner, freeze the muffins and go to bed.
Bad News: I only have enough for tomorrows breakfast. That was some GOOD bacon.
Good News: Gabrielle has found that she needs to spend less time with Q and more time with
other friends.
Bad News: I'm not sure her new friends are 'any better'.
Good news: Gab and friends went to lunch.
Bad news: Friends had no $.
Good news: Gabby had money.
Bad news: It was her gas $.
Good news: When the car runs out of gas, she can ride the bus.
Bad news: My phone bill was over $700. YIKES!!!
Good news: AT&T has an international calling plan that I am now signed up for AND he
adjusted my bill so I only have to pay half of the original cost.
Good news: Supper was cooked and consumed. Breakfast muffins are made.
Bad news: (not really) I now need to clean up the mess and freeze the muffins.
Good news: My husband just called. :) He made this statement: I need to remember you do
well with direction. I need to just give you direction and quit throwing you
through the hoops. Oh my, what a revelation. I do so love my man.
The hoop? Where to spend Dec. vacation. For 9 years I have talked about Australia. That's where I've been planning to take us this Christmas Holiday. Michael was in complete agreement. Then he calls and says he hears that the diving is better in Palau. Pa..what?! I was so upset. I do not change gears well at all!! However, my interest was piked and I began to surf the WEB. Oh my Palau is beautiful. The other thing I learned is you have to stop on Guam to get to Palau. Michael is an Air Force brat and learned to dive on Guam. One of the things he's always talked about off and on throughout the years is taking us to Guam and scuba Diving with us there. Being on the beach with us and grilling wings. So, when I realized this was a doable plan I got excited. I expressed this excitement and plan to him on the phone. Tonight he called and said he'd been thinking and wanted to go to Australia. I got upset. He was only thinking of me. What I said before had sank in and he realized that Australia was something I had wanted to do for a long time. Unfortunately, I had already switched gears and was excited about being able to fulfil one of his dreams as well as being able to vacation in what I would call a dream. Some place that I would have only dreamed to be possible. Once he realized, he backed up. That is when he said that he needed to quit putting me thru hoops. He plainly and clearly stated that he wanted to go to Palau via Guam. Now, I have direction and can move forward toward a goal that will make us all happy. That's my job isn't it?! To please my man?!
I have no idea what kind of sense this does or doesn't make, I do know that the good news is:
My husband loves me!!
Such a simple statement of truth; I just need to give you direction and stick with it. That so works for me!
Okay, so now I need to clean up dinner, freeze the muffins and go to bed.
Monday, August 27, 2007
Yikes
Did you know that when you post a picture to your blog that people reading your blog can click on that picture and enlarge it?! Of course you did. I did not. How did I find out?
I went to site meter and found that several people had come to my blog via Google. When I clicked into the referring URL up pops this huge picture of me and my family. Then another one had my furniture enlarged. Hmmmm...
Made me feel a little freaky. I didn't review every single picture posted but I did review some. I don't think the enlarged pictures had any thing in them that would make me leery. Just, you know, the contents of my home and my family.
Just a reminder that I need from to time to time, perhaps you do too; this blog thing can be seen by ANY and EVERY ONE.
Tune in next week for pictures of the young adults that live in my home. :)
Oh yea, I need to update you on my back yard as well. Amazing what a water sprinkler will produce. My barren desert now looks like a jungle. Grass? Huh, what's that? Green, yes. High, yes. Grass, no. I can't help it, out here even green weeds look pretty.
I promised my husband an e-mail so I must depart from blog land and go to e-mail world. ;)
I went to site meter and found that several people had come to my blog via Google. When I clicked into the referring URL up pops this huge picture of me and my family. Then another one had my furniture enlarged. Hmmmm...
Made me feel a little freaky. I didn't review every single picture posted but I did review some. I don't think the enlarged pictures had any thing in them that would make me leery. Just, you know, the contents of my home and my family.
Just a reminder that I need from to time to time, perhaps you do too; this blog thing can be seen by ANY and EVERY ONE.
Tune in next week for pictures of the young adults that live in my home. :)
Oh yea, I need to update you on my back yard as well. Amazing what a water sprinkler will produce. My barren desert now looks like a jungle. Grass? Huh, what's that? Green, yes. High, yes. Grass, no. I can't help it, out here even green weeds look pretty.
I promised my husband an e-mail so I must depart from blog land and go to e-mail world. ;)
Saturday, August 25, 2007
New Furniture
Creating a post with pictures is so very frustrating to me!! By the time I'm done I have lost the pictures, or the post or some how I've managed to scramble it all together! :)
So, below are pictures of our new furniture.
The first picture is actually of the old furniture moved to a new spot. I think it looks very inviting. I often sit here to read while the kids watch TV. The little puppy likes to sit in my lap. She's allowed to when I sit in these chairs. Some times the Beagle joins us.
The next picture is of the huge table we picked out. It sits 8 people. I love the table but quite honestly don't know what I was thinking. We rarly eat at the table and I can count the number of times I've had guest to eat, on my two hands. (I'm sure I could have done a better grammer job with that sentence. the guest didn't eat on my 2 hands. )
Then the new couch and love seat. It is SO comfortable. I just love cozing up in/on it. It is huge and swallows the tiny living room. We don't care though!
Just before Michael left he told me he didn't like shelves. Folks, we've been married 20 years and I've ALWAYS used shelves to decorate with. Even when he convinced me to sort through the abundance of nick nacks, I've had shelves. Well, the bathrooms had shelves, they never looked completed to me and I was getting new everything eles... So the bathrooms had an over hual as well. We can't paint the walls so about all I could do was change shower curtains and get pictures. In the hall bathroom I got all new, shower curtain, rugs and wall decoration. The pictures are actually scriptures. Most likely not KJV, but close enough that I recognized and was encouraged by the verses. The little squares are Japanese figures. Kevin loves Japanese, so I got those for him. They symbolize happiness and love. He doesn't think they work in there but I do because of the colors.
Then in my bathroom I took pictures that I had stored away and re framed them to hang. All I bought new for in there was decorative towels. On the wall I didn't take a picture of is actually a light house picture that Michael's mother painted for us. It framed and hung very nicely.
Whew! An actual post. Michael and family have been asking for pictures of the furniture, so thanks for letting me share. I feel very blessed. It is all material objects that I can't take to heaven with me, but i am happy and know I am blessed to have them.
So, below are pictures of our new furniture.
The first picture is actually of the old furniture moved to a new spot. I think it looks very inviting. I often sit here to read while the kids watch TV. The little puppy likes to sit in my lap. She's allowed to when I sit in these chairs. Some times the Beagle joins us.
The next picture is of the huge table we picked out. It sits 8 people. I love the table but quite honestly don't know what I was thinking. We rarly eat at the table and I can count the number of times I've had guest to eat, on my two hands. (I'm sure I could have done a better grammer job with that sentence. the guest didn't eat on my 2 hands. )
Then the new couch and love seat. It is SO comfortable. I just love cozing up in/on it. It is huge and swallows the tiny living room. We don't care though!
Just before Michael left he told me he didn't like shelves. Folks, we've been married 20 years and I've ALWAYS used shelves to decorate with. Even when he convinced me to sort through the abundance of nick nacks, I've had shelves. Well, the bathrooms had shelves, they never looked completed to me and I was getting new everything eles... So the bathrooms had an over hual as well. We can't paint the walls so about all I could do was change shower curtains and get pictures. In the hall bathroom I got all new, shower curtain, rugs and wall decoration. The pictures are actually scriptures. Most likely not KJV, but close enough that I recognized and was encouraged by the verses. The little squares are Japanese figures. Kevin loves Japanese, so I got those for him. They symbolize happiness and love. He doesn't think they work in there but I do because of the colors.
Then in my bathroom I took pictures that I had stored away and re framed them to hang. All I bought new for in there was decorative towels. On the wall I didn't take a picture of is actually a light house picture that Michael's mother painted for us. It framed and hung very nicely.
Whew! An actual post. Michael and family have been asking for pictures of the furniture, so thanks for letting me share. I feel very blessed. It is all material objects that I can't take to heaven with me, but i am happy and know I am blessed to have them.
Monday, August 20, 2007
Phone Conversation
Husband: I'm going to the city this week end. Would you like for me to get you something?
Wife: Yes! That would be great. I would love a trinket from where you are.
Husband: What would you like? A silk robe?
Wife: A SILK ROBE?! No. I wouldn't like that.
Husband: laughing. OK, what would you like a wrench set?
Wife: Cracking up, realizing just what I said and how he could have taken it. Honey, you buy me what ever you think I should have and I will treasure it.
And you know what? I will!
I really am not a girlly girl; though I'm not the wrench type either.
Today's conversation was great. He made me laugh and when I shared a certain frustration he said he'd take care of it. I'm quite capable of handling the situation, and it would be much easier for me to do. Because you know, he's there and I'm here. But hearing him say he'd handle it made me feel so very loved.
Wife: Yes! That would be great. I would love a trinket from where you are.
Husband: What would you like? A silk robe?
Wife: A SILK ROBE?! No. I wouldn't like that.
Husband: laughing. OK, what would you like a wrench set?
Wife: Cracking up, realizing just what I said and how he could have taken it. Honey, you buy me what ever you think I should have and I will treasure it.
And you know what? I will!
I really am not a girlly girl; though I'm not the wrench type either.
Today's conversation was great. He made me laugh and when I shared a certain frustration he said he'd take care of it. I'm quite capable of handling the situation, and it would be much easier for me to do. Because you know, he's there and I'm here. But hearing him say he'd handle it made me feel so very loved.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Good Morning
Believe it or not I have nothing to post. :)
Been busy working. I have written several post in my head for your entertainment, but it must not have been real important or entertaining because I can't recall a word of them.
Hope you guys have a terrific week-end.
Been busy working. I have written several post in my head for your entertainment, but it must not have been real important or entertaining because I can't recall a word of them.
Hope you guys have a terrific week-end.
Monday, August 6, 2007
Friends
I am so thankful for friends! Esp. the people that have chosen to be MY friends.
My friends listen to a LOT of STUFF from me and a lot of it is about my kids.
Two of my friends encouraged me and treated me to dinner one night.
Another friend spent an hour or more on the phone with me giving me good, solid, Godly, experienced wisdom. Did I say thank you?!
Today yet another friend called her friend to come change the tire on my van. All of the people I know that could help either left town or live out in town, not on the base. I would never call someone to drive 30mins to change my tire. I'd take 2 hours to do it myself or knock on a neighbors door. It is a military base after all.
Now about this tire issue. With my old van the hub caps would forever pop off. Michael threatened to just spray paint the wheel wells rather than buy yet another hub cap. So I was very excited when we bought the new van. It has real wheels, no hub caps. Now I only have flat tires rather than lost hub caps. Hmmm... We did actually find a screw in this one, but my driving was being placed under close scrutiny.
In other news and confusion; can someone please tell me why at night before I go to bed I weigh one thing, then in the morning I weigh a whole 5 pounds lighter?! I've always thought that your first morning weight was the most accurate, true weight. Well that's just fine and dandy but it's the end of the day weight that my clothes hang on and every one sees.
Um... I started the post with friends. I hope to never take advantage in a negative way of my friends. I hope to also begin to enjoy my friends with out wearing them out with kid talk. They are very gracious and supportive of my need to vent, rant and spill my guts. Even my blogging buddies have heard a bit of it. One thing has become painfully clear to me. It matters not how much I talk, how much I plan, how much good solid advise that I receive, if I'm not willing to put any of it into action. Oh, I can't even lie to myself any more and exclaim: "I don't know why I can't follow through. I try so hard." Yeah, right.
Shhh.. I have to fear God more than any thing else in my life. It matters NOT what any one thinks, not even you my friends, just God. Fortunately for me God has surrounded me with good solid Godly friends that aren't judging.
Any one have any good suggestions on Bible Studies that focus on the character of GOD.
My church started a new Sunday School Series this Sunday in Proverbs. I was so excited. I even made it to church on time. Grabbed a cup of coffee, exchanged a few pleasantries and my phone vibrates. I'm on call and, yes, it was work calling me in. No, I never did make it back to church.
I did however, have a really pleasant chat with my daughter that gave me hope. She expressed a maturity to me that was impressive. The best part though was what she shared about her beliefs, how they differ from her 'boyfriend' and how she felt about it.
Later that after noon she said that she went to lunch with her boyfriend's family and the Pastor from their church. She felt from listening to conversation that their beliefs are the same as ours. The Trinity. Jesus is the only son of God and He died on the cross for our salvation and forgiveness of our sins. So Q's thoughts are his "own whacked thoughts." Now on the one hand this should disturb me greatly, on the other hand hearing her recognize the situation and talk about it and how it bothers her is a huge praise and opportunity for God with lots of prayer on our part. Yes, all of you and me. ;)
Ok, this post turned into a hodge podge of sorts. I need to go to bed so I can survive another day in the rat race. If I knew how to line through things I'd line through that and restate it as another chance to survive in the next day that the Lord has given me.
My friends listen to a LOT of STUFF from me and a lot of it is about my kids.
Two of my friends encouraged me and treated me to dinner one night.
Another friend spent an hour or more on the phone with me giving me good, solid, Godly, experienced wisdom. Did I say thank you?!
Today yet another friend called her friend to come change the tire on my van. All of the people I know that could help either left town or live out in town, not on the base. I would never call someone to drive 30mins to change my tire. I'd take 2 hours to do it myself or knock on a neighbors door. It is a military base after all.
Now about this tire issue. With my old van the hub caps would forever pop off. Michael threatened to just spray paint the wheel wells rather than buy yet another hub cap. So I was very excited when we bought the new van. It has real wheels, no hub caps. Now I only have flat tires rather than lost hub caps. Hmmm... We did actually find a screw in this one, but my driving was being placed under close scrutiny.
In other news and confusion; can someone please tell me why at night before I go to bed I weigh one thing, then in the morning I weigh a whole 5 pounds lighter?! I've always thought that your first morning weight was the most accurate, true weight. Well that's just fine and dandy but it's the end of the day weight that my clothes hang on and every one sees.
Um... I started the post with friends. I hope to never take advantage in a negative way of my friends. I hope to also begin to enjoy my friends with out wearing them out with kid talk. They are very gracious and supportive of my need to vent, rant and spill my guts. Even my blogging buddies have heard a bit of it. One thing has become painfully clear to me. It matters not how much I talk, how much I plan, how much good solid advise that I receive, if I'm not willing to put any of it into action. Oh, I can't even lie to myself any more and exclaim: "I don't know why I can't follow through. I try so hard." Yeah, right.
Shhh.. I have to fear God more than any thing else in my life. It matters NOT what any one thinks, not even you my friends, just God. Fortunately for me God has surrounded me with good solid Godly friends that aren't judging.
Any one have any good suggestions on Bible Studies that focus on the character of GOD.
My church started a new Sunday School Series this Sunday in Proverbs. I was so excited. I even made it to church on time. Grabbed a cup of coffee, exchanged a few pleasantries and my phone vibrates. I'm on call and, yes, it was work calling me in. No, I never did make it back to church.
I did however, have a really pleasant chat with my daughter that gave me hope. She expressed a maturity to me that was impressive. The best part though was what she shared about her beliefs, how they differ from her 'boyfriend' and how she felt about it.
Later that after noon she said that she went to lunch with her boyfriend's family and the Pastor from their church. She felt from listening to conversation that their beliefs are the same as ours. The Trinity. Jesus is the only son of God and He died on the cross for our salvation and forgiveness of our sins. So Q's thoughts are his "own whacked thoughts." Now on the one hand this should disturb me greatly, on the other hand hearing her recognize the situation and talk about it and how it bothers her is a huge praise and opportunity for God with lots of prayer on our part. Yes, all of you and me. ;)
Ok, this post turned into a hodge podge of sorts. I need to go to bed so I can survive another day in the rat race. If I knew how to line through things I'd line through that and restate it as another chance to survive in the next day that the Lord has given me.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
My computer is in the shop. Don't know for how long. :(
Thank you for all your support and comments on the last post. My anonymous commenter e-mailed me and explained her comment. I actually agreed with her with the explanation. But I agreed with all of you. ;)
I have found my copy of The Five Love Languages for Children. While my children are no longer children I believe I can glean the same info from it.
Melissa, I did not get your e-mail. When I get my computer back I'll e-mail you.
Grafted Branch, I always receive comments with love. I *love* the way you write. If I throw it out there for the world to see and comment on I have to be ready for what comes my way. Every one so far has been very gracious and honest with me. I like that.
Julie, picked up on what I was already feeling in my heart and I need that affirmation. There was no criticism or opinion that I was wrong. All of your comments indicted that there was a better.
I love the way GB picked up on the she despises you part. At that point that was exactly right. She despised me.
I'm at the library and he's hollering 5 more minutes. Sorry for the misspelling. Maybe when my computer is fixed I'll be out of pity party mode and able to see the graciousness God once again.
Thank you tremendously for your prayers and support.
I'll be able to read your post from work but most likely won't have time to comment.
Have a great rest of the week.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Fried Pickles
Today I took Gabrielle to her orthodontist appointment. I was really looking forward to the day. We made her appointment on time and then we went to Home Depot. Not her favorite place to be, but I needed a couple shelves. I picked up 2 corner shelves and one cheap shelf with 3 decorative brackets. When I saw the cost I wanted to just put it all back. Way too much money for what I got. But that's a post for another time. Gab loves orange chicken but it was too early for lunch and we weren't hungry. I told her I'd been wanting to take her to Applebee's for a dessert there.
"OK, let's have lunch there, mom"
"Great"
As we rode back into town (her ortho appt is 2 hours away) she reminded me about Applebees.
Mom: Let's split a sandwich too.
Gab: OK
We are seated in the restaurant and she ask: Can we get fried pickles?
No, I don't want to buy a sandwich, an appetizer and dessert. What kind of sandwich would you like?
I'm thinking she really likes Applebees and there is a certain sandwich she likes. I'll let her choose the sandwich, but there is no way we can each eat a whole sandwich so we'll just split it. Save money and not waste food. I'm thinking that this is such a fun treat.
Mom: "so what kind of sandwich do you what?
Gab: shoulder shrug
Mom: Oh look there's: and I read several things off the menu.
No interest from Gab. She has totally with drawn from me.
The waiter finally shows up and I order coffee and dessert. She orders a soda.
I am trying really hard not to be upset. I'm thinking I was so looking forward to this. Maybe I should have ordered the pickles. I can't believe she's acting like this just because I said no to pickles. I guess I miss read her interest.
Dessert comes. I'm the only one that eats it. There is no conversation. I make a couple attempts, but it's just too hard. Maybe she really wasn't interested in dessert. I could have ordered the pickles and then I could have enjoyed her. Pickles, no sandwich. I mean it was about being with her, not the food.
Then she ask, can you take me to the store for some bread crumbs?
Mom: No, not tonight I want to go home.
Gab: I was thinking maybe I could make my own pickles.
Mom: We can get some next time I go, but I'm not going tonight.
We make 2 stops on the way home and then I was called to work. I'm sure she's over the whole pickle thing, but I'm still sitting here rolling it over in my head. Why was it such a big deal. Why didn't I just order the pickles? Why did she choose not to join me in what I saw as a gift just because I didn't order pickles. See at first I thought, her change in attitude has nothing to do with the pickles. Until she asked to go to the store so she could make her own.
This is a very typical situation with Gab and I.
It makes me nuts. Sometimes I can just shrug and realize it's just the way she is. Other times, I take it very personally and spend a lot of time wondering if I could of/ should of handled it differently.
That was my day. I probably shouldn't have taken up web space and your time with such nonsense. Then again, it's nice to dump it.
I hope all of you had a wonderful day. Enjoy your week end.
"OK, let's have lunch there, mom"
"Great"
As we rode back into town (her ortho appt is 2 hours away) she reminded me about Applebees.
Mom: Let's split a sandwich too.
Gab: OK
We are seated in the restaurant and she ask: Can we get fried pickles?
No, I don't want to buy a sandwich, an appetizer and dessert. What kind of sandwich would you like?
I'm thinking she really likes Applebees and there is a certain sandwich she likes. I'll let her choose the sandwich, but there is no way we can each eat a whole sandwich so we'll just split it. Save money and not waste food. I'm thinking that this is such a fun treat.
Mom: "so what kind of sandwich do you what?
Gab: shoulder shrug
Mom: Oh look there's: and I read several things off the menu.
No interest from Gab. She has totally with drawn from me.
The waiter finally shows up and I order coffee and dessert. She orders a soda.
I am trying really hard not to be upset. I'm thinking I was so looking forward to this. Maybe I should have ordered the pickles. I can't believe she's acting like this just because I said no to pickles. I guess I miss read her interest.
Dessert comes. I'm the only one that eats it. There is no conversation. I make a couple attempts, but it's just too hard. Maybe she really wasn't interested in dessert. I could have ordered the pickles and then I could have enjoyed her. Pickles, no sandwich. I mean it was about being with her, not the food.
Then she ask, can you take me to the store for some bread crumbs?
Mom: No, not tonight I want to go home.
Gab: I was thinking maybe I could make my own pickles.
Mom: We can get some next time I go, but I'm not going tonight.
We make 2 stops on the way home and then I was called to work. I'm sure she's over the whole pickle thing, but I'm still sitting here rolling it over in my head. Why was it such a big deal. Why didn't I just order the pickles? Why did she choose not to join me in what I saw as a gift just because I didn't order pickles. See at first I thought, her change in attitude has nothing to do with the pickles. Until she asked to go to the store so she could make her own.
This is a very typical situation with Gab and I.
It makes me nuts. Sometimes I can just shrug and realize it's just the way she is. Other times, I take it very personally and spend a lot of time wondering if I could of/ should of handled it differently.
That was my day. I probably shouldn't have taken up web space and your time with such nonsense. Then again, it's nice to dump it.
I hope all of you had a wonderful day. Enjoy your week end.
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Last Sunday I went to church with a friend. We had made plans for lunch after we each went to our respective churches. I decided at the last minute just to go to her church with her. She was so excited that I changed my mind. As odd as this sounds it was really nice to see some one get excited about being at church with me. While I was there we sang a song that prompted my question: "What's in your heart; faith or fear?" Your answers were encouraging because they were honest; I thought. My answer? FEAR. Why? Of what?
Not of Michael being gone. There is no fear there. For some reason I have this confidence and assurance that he will be home to me. That I will again hold him in my arms and know the security and solidity of my man. No, I don't take that for granted. I know how much my Michael loves His Jesus and how seriously he takes his commitment to me. He loves me.
So that takes me back to fear of what? Fear of failure, not being good enough. Never measuring up. That fear is not of God. I know that scripture tells me that. He will never leave me or forsake me. I am not worthy, I am saved by grace. I am a Princess, a child of THE King. I know that with my head but for some reason unbeknowst to me I doubt it with my heart. That's what allows the fear to take root.
So last Sunday through the preaching and singing at my friend's church I learned that I'm rooted in unreasonable fear.
The last couple of weeks I have come across blogs that talk about prayer. I wish I could link you to them. So I could hear God introducing a new theme to me. There is power in prayer. Prayer can change things. It can take my fear and turn it into faith. Oh don't get me wrong, I got the talking part down. There is nothing I won't say or ask to Jesus in prayer. I tell Him just what I think and ask for it all. I even know that when I'm hurting and my prayers are only just groanings and noise that the Holy Spirit will take that noise and interpret it to Jesus.
No, it's not the talking that's my problem. It's the listening. The being still part. Reading the Bible. Oh I read it. I enjoy the scriptures. But I don't slow down long enough to soak it up and HEAR what Jesus wants me to know.
Today I made it to my church. Both of my children were with me. As one of my friends put it, I was doing the happy dance. Yes, it felt good to be in my church with my kids.
Do you guys remember months ago I wrote a post about Travis. He was a little boy in the Sunday School that I was teaching at the time. He came on the bus and had a really hard time adjusting to being in his class with out his brother. Today, at church he was there with a man. This man introduced himself as Travis' dad. Talk about a happy dance! I was so excited to know that this man was at church with Travis.
Then... during the closing prayer I asked my son to quit making noise. It was a suttle noise, but my eyes were closed and he was bothering me.
He responded with a LOUD whisper that he wasn't making any noise. I am just so very sure that the entire church heard him. He beelined it to the car as soon as amen was said.
When I made it to the car I explained that he was disturbing me, that was why I said something. He told me that if I didn't want to be disturbed at church then I shouldn't bring him, he didn't want to listen to that "Jesus psyco babble". Oh yea. Folks I didn't twist his arm and make him come to church with me. He was very angry about something and he told me it wasn't me. I left the car found a corner to cry in. Got myself together, tracked down my daughter and we left.
The rest of the day went ok, once I was able to choke down the tears enough to pretend all was well.
I'm not sure why I shared all that. Only that my heart breaks for my kids. It takes all I have to keep from thinking that I did some thing wrong in their raising. I have to constantly self talk, reassuring myself that God is big enough to handle the problem. Both of my kids claim a salvation experience. I see no fruit. Again, God is big enough and knows their heart. Here again is my fear, not my faith. God loves my kids far more than I could ever dream of loving them and I love them A LOT!
Not of Michael being gone. There is no fear there. For some reason I have this confidence and assurance that he will be home to me. That I will again hold him in my arms and know the security and solidity of my man. No, I don't take that for granted. I know how much my Michael loves His Jesus and how seriously he takes his commitment to me. He loves me.
So that takes me back to fear of what? Fear of failure, not being good enough. Never measuring up. That fear is not of God. I know that scripture tells me that. He will never leave me or forsake me. I am not worthy, I am saved by grace. I am a Princess, a child of THE King. I know that with my head but for some reason unbeknowst to me I doubt it with my heart. That's what allows the fear to take root.
So last Sunday through the preaching and singing at my friend's church I learned that I'm rooted in unreasonable fear.
The last couple of weeks I have come across blogs that talk about prayer. I wish I could link you to them. So I could hear God introducing a new theme to me. There is power in prayer. Prayer can change things. It can take my fear and turn it into faith. Oh don't get me wrong, I got the talking part down. There is nothing I won't say or ask to Jesus in prayer. I tell Him just what I think and ask for it all. I even know that when I'm hurting and my prayers are only just groanings and noise that the Holy Spirit will take that noise and interpret it to Jesus.
No, it's not the talking that's my problem. It's the listening. The being still part. Reading the Bible. Oh I read it. I enjoy the scriptures. But I don't slow down long enough to soak it up and HEAR what Jesus wants me to know.
Today I made it to my church. Both of my children were with me. As one of my friends put it, I was doing the happy dance. Yes, it felt good to be in my church with my kids.
Do you guys remember months ago I wrote a post about Travis. He was a little boy in the Sunday School that I was teaching at the time. He came on the bus and had a really hard time adjusting to being in his class with out his brother. Today, at church he was there with a man. This man introduced himself as Travis' dad. Talk about a happy dance! I was so excited to know that this man was at church with Travis.
Then... during the closing prayer I asked my son to quit making noise. It was a suttle noise, but my eyes were closed and he was bothering me.
He responded with a LOUD whisper that he wasn't making any noise. I am just so very sure that the entire church heard him. He beelined it to the car as soon as amen was said.
When I made it to the car I explained that he was disturbing me, that was why I said something. He told me that if I didn't want to be disturbed at church then I shouldn't bring him, he didn't want to listen to that "Jesus psyco babble". Oh yea. Folks I didn't twist his arm and make him come to church with me. He was very angry about something and he told me it wasn't me. I left the car found a corner to cry in. Got myself together, tracked down my daughter and we left.
The rest of the day went ok, once I was able to choke down the tears enough to pretend all was well.
I'm not sure why I shared all that. Only that my heart breaks for my kids. It takes all I have to keep from thinking that I did some thing wrong in their raising. I have to constantly self talk, reassuring myself that God is big enough to handle the problem. Both of my kids claim a salvation experience. I see no fruit. Again, God is big enough and knows their heart. Here again is my fear, not my faith. God loves my kids far more than I could ever dream of loving them and I love them A LOT!
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