Frustration!!

I sat here for 30 minutes writing a post that I was quite pleased with! Hit the publish post button and it disappeared! It is gone. It looked like the computer was auto saving it, but nope, it dumped it! Maybe I'll try again later, but for now the creative juices are dry and my time is gone. Talk about a waste of time. I wonder what lesson I'm to learn form this?!

Marine Corps Ball

November 1987-The first Marine Corps Ball I ever attended. Michael picked out my dress.

November 2008-Our most recent Ball together.

Thinking of the many Marine Corps Balls we've been to over the past 20 years makes me reflect

and remember many a story. I think, this time I will let the pictures talk for themselves.

I wish I had a picture of the sea of Marines in uniform locked at attention. My chest always swells with pride and I fight tears when I see all those Marines of all ages, on the first note of The National Anthem become statues. It matters not what they are doing or saying, when that first note plays-boom, they lock it in. What a sight!

Happy Birthday Marines! My friend is right YOU are THE Corps.

Funny Story

Tuesday morning I was headed out the door for work. My husband was in the shower and my kids were snuggled in their beds. My hands were kind of full as I headed out to the car in the garage. The car door was locked, bu the window was down so I reached in and unlocked the door. As I opened the door to get in the car alarm went off. I instinctively screamed! I remember trying to deactivate the alarm and thinking, 'I need to get back in the house and let Michael know I'm O.K.' So I head back to the door that leads from the garage into the house, still trying to deactivate the alarm. I open the door and there is my husband, my knight in shining armor, naked as a jay bird! He was coming to my rescue. I came in the house, explained what happened, because by this time I had figured out what caused the alarm to go off in the first place. He deactivated the alarm and we both started laughing hysterically. We had the whits scared out of us and there he was in all his glory in the kitchen. I will never forget the look on his face. He said he had never heard me scream like that; I startle easily and scream every time, so this scream must have been a real winner.
As we are laughing we hear a knock on the front door. I answer it to a man asking me if I was OK. He stated that he was my neighbor from up the street, driving to work and heard me scream. He wanted to make sure I was OK. Brave man! It was still dark outside.
It was really reassuring to know he was willing to stop and check on me, wonder what he'd done if he had seen my naked husband? :)
I chuckled all day. I'm not sure the retelling in writing captures the moment, but I had to retell it.
Oh-the kids. Gab did wake up, but didn't get up which was most likely a good thing. She said she was so frightened she couldn't move. Kevin said later that he remembers the car alarm but it just morphed into his dream.

Let's Back Up...

...But just to Sept. The day we loaded our kids and two guest into the van and went to Sea W0rld. We had a blast. Gab had requested that we do some of the fun things and not just go. So we did.

We ate lunch poolside with The whale.

We fed the stingrays.

There is a family joke about flamingos, so I always take pictures of them, with my Aunt Nancy in mind. That would be a great post for another time.

The very BEST part was when Gabrielle and I got to get in with the d01phins! If you ever want to really know just how big the caboose has gotten and if you ever ask yourself is my stomach really that big? Stuff yourself into a wet suit and stand beside a 19 year old who is also stuffed into a wet suit. The results may not be pretty! I was very thankful that I had a distraction. The experience was worth every penny, though if I do such a thing again I will have my Aunt set it up in Florida. The experience there, the one she is aware of, is very different.

The professional shots were much better! Michael tried to get me to buy the disk. I so wish I would have. There were some really funny pictures of us. That water was cold even with the wet suit. One of the poses was for us to pretend we were models with the d0lphin. Of course Gab the ham did great. I on the other hand, Ms. super self conscious and cold to boot---well let's just say I shudder to think that some other poor soul has that disk in their home with that picture!

This is my all time favorite!

The Lord Is Good

I have been home from our Ladies Retreat for about 2 hours. It was a great time.
I want to get this out there before it becomes 'cold'.

I took a friend of mine from another church and my daughter. The retreat started Thursday evening and was over this (Sat.) morning. Lots of good food, laughter and God.

On Friday night our group gathered in one of our cabins to have a testimony time. Several ladies shared about how God was using the retreat to speak to them. While I listened I was thinking, this has been great, I love to fellowship with these women, hear the word of God and sing praises; but I haven't heard from God specifically.

One Lady shared how she was moved to go forward during the invitation that night, but she didn't go because she had no idea what the Lord wanted her to pray about. This same friend also shared that she felt she needed to be more submissive to God. This whole going forward concept sort of resonated with me because I have felt in the past a need to go forward as well. Not at this retreat, but in the past. I didn't go because I didn't know why I needed to or I felt it could just be handled in my seat.

Well, God saved the zinger for this last session, this morning. The speaker spoke about expectations. Not only did the Lord use her to speak to me about a few issues, but I was already tendered and bristled toward the subject because of a conversation I had with my mom on our trip. Correction; it was not a conversation. My mom tried and I shut her down and none too politely told her I didn't want to hear it. I have no idea what she was going to say to me, however I can assure you that God picked up where mom left off and nailed the point home.

Let me back track for just a minute. A common thought that rolls in my head when I'm at one of these retreats is:"yes, but How?" Lord I know I'm supposed to pray and have quiet time. Oh I pray all the time. I do read my Bible, but a regular quiet time? A time when I can just be still and listen. Yea, uh-huh....no that wouldn't be me. I'm sure I could give an excellent devotion on how and when and why we should be having time alone with the Lord. I usually leave the service thinking, I'm going to ask some one why I can't seem to do this. I am just stumped. Why can't I do this thing I so desire to do.

Ohhhh....I have the desire but not the discipline. Yes, that's it. So, I went a year or so thanking the Lord for the desire and asking for the discipline.

Ladies beware!! Guess what the Holy Spirit revealed to me this fine Saturday morning?!

My lack of discipline has crossed the line. It is no longer a lack of discipline, it is down right disobedience! How do I know? Once I recovered from the head trauma that the Holy Spirit had to inflict upon me to get me attention, I began to reflect. How many times did the Lord not only provided for me a time to be with Him, he also invited me to step away with Him. You know, those times when after work I turned on the TV and heard, "now would be a good time to do some reading". Or more often: I go to pick up a reading book and the Bible that is laying right beside it beckons to me--read me first, spend some time with me. My response, yea I want to be in a minute I only have a few pages left in this book.

I don't know if this revelation lines up with any theological thought process. I do know that I have expectations of life. Some I wasn't even aware of. I actually believe that this is normal. However, if I am getting to know my Jesus then my expectations will be His expectations and I will be a much more pleasant person to spend time with.

When invitation time came I flew to the front, bawling like I had just lost my best friend.

Well, I hadn't lost Him. I was just ignoring Him. When it was all said and done I felt a little foolish for the level of emotion that came from me. On the other hand, I have struggled with this for longer than I care to admit. I come home from retreats and church services determined to do better. I get the basket and set up the special place and set the time. For two or three days life is great. All my effort is just that, all me. What's different this time?

Jesus is my Savior, I desire to be with Him. Do I have the discipline? No, no more now than I did two days ago. My desire and my discipline come from the urging and strength of the Holy Spirit. I no longer wish to turn my back on that. How mean and rude is it to beg for something and then not accept it when that something has been handed to you.

What I need, no-not need, but request is to be held accountable. Oh, God will hold me accountable. However, I would prefer to be held accountable now, so when THE time comes I can stand before my Savior.

I have no idea if any of this makes sense! That is actually, ok. Jesus and I have an understanding. That understanding was meant for me, from Him.

Feel free to check in with me and help hold me accountable.

Um, Excuse me, could some one please stop the merry-go-round roller coaster I'm on? I'd really like to get off now.

Life has been really busy, with lots of good things actually. Why is it that in spite of that I feel as if things are way out of control and emotions are swallowing me whole?

I'll be back later to up date you on the fun things that have been my life over the past few weeks.

Until then...

Chicken

Excuse me? Chicken? Yep, chicken.

Those of you that have known me for a while are familiar with one of my favorite stories to tell.

I got married believing that I knew how to cook; Bake chicken in the oven with a little salt and pepper. Open a can of little green peas and and a can of corn, heat on stove. Put a serving of each on a plate and Ta Da, dinner is served. About a month into our marriage, Michael very nicely informed me that if we were going to eat chicken every night I needed to learn a few different ways in which to cook it.

I'm proud to say that in 20 years of marriage I have learned many different ways to serve me up some chicken. However, chicken is still ~98% of our diet.

So what's the point? I have one more rabbit trial, then the point.

When Kevin was eight and nine, I had him in public school. The teachers became concerned with some of his behavior. This began a long journey of test and IEP's and many a discussion with lots of people. When Kevin was ten we moved to North Carolina, where I attempted to home school. During this time my Home Schooling efforts allowed my path to cross with many different people. One group introduced me to the idea of allergies causing behavior concerns. So I set my cap to checking this out. I did get Kevin in to see an allergist, who straight away informed me that if he was having no obvious signs of an allergy reaction, then there was no need to test him for food allergies. However, since I was there he would do some testing for dust and grasses. I was a bit irritated to say the least. If the kid was showing obvious signs of a reaction I wouldn't need the Dr to test him! Guess what? Kevin did test positive to grasses and dust. My response? No duh, who doesn't test positive to those things. I never took him back to the allergist.

Through the years Kevin frequently spent his midnight hour at the toilet throwing up. One of the reasons why I was so quick to bite off on the whole allergy idea, and yes I did share that with the Dr. So let's progress forward to age 17 &18. I recently shared with you that Kevin was having trouble swallowing and actually has had food stuck twice now. He biopsied positive for esinophil esophagitis. A real true honest to goodness, took a sample of tissue and tested it and that was the result. This time I had a diagnosis that caused the allergist to take me serious when I requested food allergy testing. When I went on line to read about the esinophil esophagitis I was amazed. Most likely a good bit of Kevin's throwing up could be attributed to this diagnosis, unknown to us at the time.

Now the point, if you haven't already figured it out; Kevin is allergic to CHICKEN.

Is that not weird?!

Yes, he tested positive to allergies for every weed that grows here in the desert and three different kinds of trees. Dogs and cats--ouch. Pistachio nuts and chicken.

This Dr. recommended allergy shots, some medication and elimination of all nuts and chicken. He did tell Kevin that it would be wise to eliminate the foods and see how he feels, if he can't tell any difference then don't worry about trying to eliminate those foods altogether. The Dr believes that the weeds, grasses and dusts are the main culprits to his esinophil esophagitis.

As I stated earlier, I have learned to cook chicken in many different ways, however it is still ~98% of our diet. Kevin and I agreed that it would be wise to stop all chicken for a while and see what happens. He is now eating LOTS of hamburgers. (home made)

I am struggling really hard to keep my mind from traveling down the "what if" highway!!

It's best to just live in the facts of the here and now and know that I did all I knew how to do in the past.

In the present, all chicken is being avoided, as well as p-nut butter. The dogs have been moved to my end of the house and lots of hand washing is happening.