I just have to ask: Does any one else have trouble with those letters for word verification? I never get it typed right the first time.

Tyke the Beagle has almost dug to China. Beagle stew is sounding better and better.

Gab is 18 years old! She made it. She has been so pleasant the last couple of days. I have meant to post a post in regards to her birthday. You know, a picture of birth and a current picture. Takes mega time for me to do that. Eventually, hopefully before her next birthday. She did not graduate on time to walk with the class. She had been asked to speak at the ceremony, but decided that it was just too much. Then she didn't finish in time to even participate. The good news is she is talking to and working with the counselor and is registered to finish her classes this summer. I believe she'll do it in less than 2 weeks. She was stressing herself out so bad that I told her I didn't care WHEN she graduated just so long as she DID graduate. She is off with a friend and her family for the week end.

Michael and Kevin are off to the movies. I have the house to myself. It is so nice. I am supposed to be cleaning. Yea, right. I was going to spend the day cleaning the house, doing laundry, cleaning my car and writing thank you notes. I have collected the laundry and got it started. I can not believe that 4 people can create that much laundry!! In fact I went through my dresser and threw out most of what I had. By threw out I mean bagged for the local thrift store. My closet is next and Michael will be asked to go through his stuff.

I will hold off on Kevin's clothes because my prayer is he'll have to have a whole new wardrobe by the end of this summer. I think he has agreed to be my maid this summer. Oh to come home to a clean house once a week. We'll see. I scared Gab off. She did a good job, I was just too picky!

OK, I must be off to do the cleaning. It must be done!
Have a great Sunday!

Busy-Lazy-Pity-GOD

Busy-- Being back to work has kept me busy to say the very least! Up at the crack of dawn and working til at least 1600, often times it's closer to 1700. I'm supposed to be done at 1530. However, one thing about nursing is you can't just leave if there is still a patient needing care. Could you imagine coming out of surgery, being groggy on anesthesia and hearing this voice say: Your surgery is over now. You are in the recovery room, but it's past quitting time so I'll see ya in the morning. Hope you're not hurting. NOT. So, even though I'm not the only nurse working I can't just up and leave just because you know it's quitting time. :)

Lazy- Now since my wonderful 8 hour job has turned into more like a 10 to 12 hour job, I have become lazy. Once upon a time there was food in the house. So, maybe it wasn't cooked and on the table every night. It was there in the house for any one that wanted to have a go at it! Clean clothes? Sure. Where? Certainly not in the dresser drawers or the closets. Maybe, if your lucky, they'll be in the dryer or the CLEAN laundry basket. The real kicker, the one that made me realize perhaps, just maybe things had slipped a little too far was when I heard: "Mom, why are the paper towels in the bathroom?" "There is no toilet paper" Four days later: "Mom when will you buy more toilet paper?" HMMMM, soon. I have turned into a couch potato. After work I pile up on the couch and watch TV. Sad I know. Worse than sad actually, but we won't go there.

Pity-- My baby girl is turning 18 years old this week. Our relationship is still rough to say the least. She did go to counseling with me last week. I left in tears. If any mother can get an award for trying It's me. I can look back and see all the things I tried that were wrong, but in my heart I was fighting the good fight. Now, I'm still fighting the good fight, however I am trying out a new sword. It's one that I've had access to for many many years and have actually used it from time to time. But, I forget how to use it. See, I'm used to fighting and doing. With this sword all I have to do is close my eyes and let HIM direct the Sword. All I have to do is read and speak this sword. It is so easy. Too easy if you are a doer and a fretter like me.
My son has informed me that his 16 year old, 5'8" frame is carring around 220 pounds. He has always been a solid boy, broad in the shoulders. But a lot of that weight is in his stomach and the Dr. has been watching him for high cholesterol and borderline high blood pressure.
I have made a change in my life--full time work. I love my job and my husband was ecstatic that I agreed to go back. However, there needs to be some fine tuning. Michael helps me quite a bit! In fact his encouragement and happiness at my being back at work helps me to ignore my short comings. He isn't bothered by them. Well, maybe the lack of TP.

GOD-- So I got up this Sunday morning thinking I don't want to go to church! I need to stay home and clean my house! Buy some food and TP and get the clean laundry put away. No my mind says you need to hear the word of God. It isn't your house that has slipped. It's time to come close to God again and trust him with my baby girl. To trust Him in the way He is leading in how to feed my family. So I drug myself to the shower and commenced with the morning routine. When I got to the living room there sat my husband ready for church. God is SO good. Now going to church was a joy not just a ride for my daughter. Then the preacher preached on being in the Word of GOD. Being in the Word and removing the things that are in competition with my desire to be in the WORD. Now, my daughter is a gift from God, so I can't, nor do I want, to remove her. My job is something that my husband wants from me. I spent years fighting this and being angry at him for wanting this from me. This time my heart will be different. I just am so very honestly grateful that I do enjoy the profession that I chose. No, what has to change is my walk with God. It is so easy to live it vicariously through others. To see and admire the strength they have and even be motivated by it. I'm not dealing with cancer, nor have I recently lost a relative that is near and dear to my heart. I just have a family that has needs and expectations. God knows all about it, in fact He created it all to grow us! While He knows it all, I'm sure that He is getting awful lonely waiting on me to talk to Him about it. I know all the talk about putting things in the hands of God, I've even tasted a miniature tad of it. So what is my fear? Where is the balance in being a concerned mom and one that lets go and allows God the space He needs to deal with and grow my child. Where is the balance of being a busy mom and one that needs to relax? Where is the space to meet with the Lord? I can do nothing with out taking the time it takes to draw near to Him and cast my cares upon Him. And you know what?! Talking about it and blogging about it does not count! As I type this I feel like it is the same old song and dance. Yet, a difference. I feel no guilt. Only a strong desire to do what is right!

What is that?
First, and the most important: Make time to be in the Word of God. To search Him out and renew our relationship!

Second, address the eating issue! Make a meal plan, throw out the temptations that will interfere with eating right. Get Kevin and Gab involved in meal preparations! Eating has been an issue in our home for years!! It started with trying to eat gluten and casein free. I have read the Hallelujah Diet for the second time. I truly, honestly believe that God is calling me to follow this plan. Michael and Kevin both are in agreement to trying it. What is it? eating raw fruits and veggies. Sounds simple?! Not when you are entrenched in the Standard American Diet. (SAD) To us a veggie is a carrot or something frozen. Fresh is something we buy and then watch rot in the fridge.

What is heaviest on my heart at this time is my daughter. Please pray for her! She is at the age of transitioning from childhood to adulthood. Verbally she wants; screams for the adult life and adult responsibilities; yet her actions are still those of a child that desires to be cared for. I suppose this is normal to some degree. Well, lets just say we are in counseling for a reason.

Well, now you are up to date. I hope to post pictures soon.
Have a terrific week!!

This is the other corner of my backyard. Only this isn't a true depiction of what it now looks like. The fence line to the right in the picture has about a 6 to 12 inch deep trench dug along it. Courtesy of the Beagle.

Landscape Help Please!

This is one corner of my yard. We had to lay chicken wire on the ground and up the fence. The Beagle loves to dig. I couldn't imagine what he was digging after. My neighbor told me there were gophers. No way I said. Yes, way. My Beagle, Tyke, was ever so nice as to present me with a dead gopher at the back door. So, the digging continues. The chicken wire stopped him from going under the fence but it did not stop him from digging.






This is the present view I see most often from my dining room and living room window. A far cry from the beautiful flowers I long to see.

I have racked my brains trying to think of a solution. The idea of a shock collar was the first idea. However, our fence line shares three yards, all of which have children. The yard behind us has 3 boys that just love our dogs. I love to look out the window and see Little Girl laying on her back with little hands stretched through the fence to scratch her belly. So then the idea of the kind of collar that requires me to push a button to shock the dog. That would work if I were home to shock him. Honestly, the whole idea of shocking bugs the snot out of me. Is there one out there that would sound a high irritating to the dogs frequency? OK, so here's my new idea. You know the barrels that they cut in half to plant flowers and plants in? I could put three in the two back corners of the yard. Then I could plant all different kinds of flowers in it. I want something that will trail the fence too. This idea will most likely be a bit expensive. If you guys have any suggestions please feel free to let me know!

My dear husband has cooked a to die for pasta dish, so I must leave you to go eat. Have a great Sunday.

Great Day

Today was a great day at work. Tonight we went out to eat. We took a friend out with us.
When we lived in Virginia Bch., Va we met a young single marine. We had him over a bit for dinner. Then the Corps took us different paths only to bring us together again in 29 Palms. At the time he had gotten married and had his first son and expecting his 2nd. Once again the Corps took us different directions. A couple days ago Michael said he was here. He is actually stationed in Okinawa and is here TAD. It was so great to see him and visit. He has since divorced and remarried and has a 4 yr old daughter. Lots of time has passed since we've seen each other. I love to listen to the 2 guys share stories and memories of past duty stations. It was a nice relaxing evening.

I have a new vacuum cleaner! I burned the motor up on my last one. The new one has a light that indicates if the carpet is dirty or clean. It was quite intriguing. My husband finally said that perhaps I should vacuum more regularly and try to get the clean light to come on over a period of time. I live in the desert with two kids and two dogs. LOTS of sand.

I had another flat tire. I'm not used to having flats when the tread is still good. Usually it's flat because there is no more tread.

Funny how when I go to work things start to break. I do tithe, so that's not what I'm missing. Michael used to get so upset. Seemed like every time we started to get a little financially ahead some thing big would bust. (flat tires and vacuum cleaners are not big) He would be frustrated that we would have to spend the $; I would be very grateful that we had the $ to replace the item. I do agree that we are going to have to figure out how to eat at home even though we are now both working. I wonder if I could find a maid AND a cook. If we could agree on the pay and I would accept the quality of the job done I'm sure my daughter would help out. Some how, clean to my standards in exchange for free transportation and food doesn't cut it for her. She did clean for me for a while, but I was relentless in my standards. Always found something that wasn't done quite right. I don't blame her for quitting. Even with pay that gets old and frustrating. Good grief did I get side tracked!

No much going on here. Just work and school.

Random Thoughts

Every now and then I have these 'you know you're old when' thoughts. Now, I really don't think of myself as old. However, the other day I was finishing up the paper work on a patient and realized he was born the same year I graduated from high school. The patient was 24 years old!! No way, you've got to be kidding me.


Julie asked where the kids were going to school now.
Gabrielle is going to the local Jr. college. We enrolled her in the High School completion program. She is taking two college classes that counts as High School and College credit. This has been an incredibly hard thing for her. She is doing a terrific job! What I am so enjoying is seeing her self motivation. She is a procrastinator (self labeled) and she'll let things pile up and then stress herself out. She comes to me and I send her to her school counselor. This lady is a no nonsense lady and she talks very straight to Gab. We had a 3 way conversation several months back when Gab wanted to quit. This is the last stop for a high school diploma. Quitting is not an option. She really wants the diploma she just really stresses out. Once she's over the bump and refocused she's good to go. Yes, it is exhausting!! Right now she's actually talking about taking a summer class. That encourages me. I have had to pull myself back and make her be responsible for herself. I can not tell you how wonderful it is to have another adult verbalize to Gab the same things that I have already told her. Talk about validation. My relationship with Gab is a real challenge. I do love her so much, but we bump heads continuously.
Kevin goes to Calvary Baptist Church School. We did a lot of talking and debating on home schooling next year, as I'm sure you guys remember. However, he will continue next year to Calvary. All of his friends will graduate this year. However, his teacher has decided to stay another year. Now, with me working at least 30 hours a week if not more, he'll need to go to school. Kevin should be a Sr. next year, but he actually has 2 more years left. His dad, teacher and I laid out this plan knowing that he would be in school an extra year. He just needs extra time to finish up and get a good diploma. While, he is handling things much better now, I still fear him quitting after next year whether he's done or not. There are a few options available when we get to that point next year. I was going to go into it now, but that's over a year away. :)
The bus they are riding is the Morongo Transit Authority. The buses run between 29 Palms and Morongo. Kevin has actually run into 2 kids that he remembers from 7th grade. Kind of neat. Gab talked two of her friends into riding the bus with her last week. I think it was a one time thing; made me laugh. The kids riding the bus is actually going to save me a bundle in gas $.

I knew this was going to be a long week when on Monday I told some one to have a good week end. Thank goodness, Kevin and I both have tomorrow off. We both can't wait to sleep in!!!!
We are having a hard time adjusting to getting up so early. We used to leave the house at 0730, now we leave at 0630. That hour makes a huge difference!

I thought I had more to ramble about. Michael is waiting on me to finish proof reading his screen play. He's been working on this for about 2 years now. He found a company that will critique it. He sent it off once and we got back the suggestions, he re wrote it and sent it back again. It was again sent back for some changes, but this time people seemed really interested in it's possibilities. So, if some one actually buys it and we make millions I'll let you guys know---So you can go see the movie of course. It keeps him busy and out of trouble. Think he'll let me be a kept woman if he hits the big time?! I won't hold my breath. :)

Life

Good Morning!
I am actually at work. Our first case cancelled and the next case isn't until 1200. So for the moment I can do some personal things.

I have gone back to work more full time then part time. Supposed to be just part time. My husband really likes for me to work. It has been a bone of contention for many many years! Fortunately I really do enjoy my job. I just always felt that my place was at home with my kids and keeping house. Unfortunately, I never did a real good job at either, which strengthened my husband's desire to have me working. Blah, blah, blah.
Now, that my kids are soon to be 18 and 17, my husband once again started encouraging me strongly to go back to work full time. Then a position actually opened up, so I compromised. I signed for part time with the agreement to work more as needed. That gives me some freedom to take what days I need to keep up with the kids and the house. The kids are riding the public bus back and forth to school. Boy, was that fun. They really balked it at first but have adjusted well. I knew that once they got over the initial fear of the unknown they would be ok. It actually gives them more independence, which is ok. Kevin has no desire at this point to learn to drive, so learning the bus system is a good thing. Gab actually gets herself up and moving now. And she comes home from school when she wants to; she doesn't have to depend on me for transportation.
I suppose I could write forever and bore you to death, but since I'm at work I'll stop for now.