Tell Me Please...

...What I already know.

Every so often I go through this stage where I want to move back to Yucca Valley. At this point and time it is cheaper, and I use that word very loosely, to rent a house than to buy one.

Why, do I want to move yet again?
Almost every thing we do is in Yucca Valley--30 to 45 min. from where I live now.
Living in something bigger would be nice.
Not hearing every thing my neighbors do when they are in their bathroom would be a great plus.
My son could possibly walk to school and other places of business. Which means he would actually leave the house from time to time.
Though I am saving some $, not any thing like I thought I would. Why not spend the money living close to friends, in a nice-er home.
Supposedly, if I moved to Yucca Valley my daughter would come home at night. No, I wouldn't move just on that excuse, but it does run across my mind in the whole pro verses con mentality.

See, a home is as nice as the home maker makes it. Doesn't matter where it is or how big it is. I realize that.

Then, tonight when I picked up my son from school he was in a yucky mood. Bad day at school, but "I'll be ok, mom". He likes the idea of moving back into town because then he could "go places with out always being with you". You being me. He was very polite and careful not to hurt my feelings. But let's face it, he's 17 years old and every thing he does is with me. He does go to school and gets along with the kids there but they are all younger than him, live in Yucca Valley and aren't really who he would socialize with away from school any way. Sympathy for yes, sorry for him, no.

Then later tonight he said to me, mom I just wish you didn't work as much. You used to take me to school and pick me up. If you didn't work as much we would have time to go to the gym again.

Hmm...if I stay here in base housing I could cut back on my hours. We finally have the other girls at work trained and they'll be taking call starting this month. So maybe, just maybe I can even leave work on time. Then if I drop just one day a week...

On and on the thoughts go.

So what I know is this: staying in base housing just makes the most financial sense. Being able to cut back my hours and spending as much time with my son his Senor year would be wonderful. Course, I would need to make a concentrated effort to get him out of the house and doing something. That and getting him to focus on school work with motivation and not an attitude of defeat.

Moving to town would be easier for all of us socially. We'd get to church more often, unless of course I had to work all the time to pay the rent.

As much as I would love to have a home in town so I could be close to places and be freer to open my home to friends often; staying on base and cutting back on the work load so I can be with my son more would be worth it. By being with my son, I mean doing something with him. Not just picking him up from school, feeding him something (not usually good/healthy), then nagging him for the next 4 hours to get school work done.

I guess moving would be changing the circumstances but not addressing the problem.

Thanks for listening. :)

Still Here

It has been a long time since I've actually written a post! I was surprised. Even more surprising is all you guys that still check in on me. My site meter shows that. I'd like to say that I have just been too busy...truth: I have been lazy.

I did go to a conference at Ironwood; Woman Counseling Woman Basics. WOW!! Eventually I'll do a whole separate post about it. For now I'll just say this: Over the years I've heard teachings, preachings and things that have created puzzle pieces in my mind. Based on these puzzle pieces I have formed opinions and taken action. This conference took those puzzle pieces and put them together to make a complete picture. Oh My! What a picture. I came home excited to death to get some things done. You know read the Bible in a day, memorize scripture continuously and ask forgiveness for every sin I ever did or thought to do. :cough:

Well, obviously the goal was set a bit too high. Except the forgiveness one, I've already done that. That's the prayer we pray when we realize we are hopeless sinners in need of a Savior.

So my plan was to go through the notebook we used at the conference and re listen to all the CD's. I also bought two other books and a Bible study.

Today I started the Bible study. I have some sin in my life that needs to be acknowledged and repented of. Right now the Lord has shown light in the broad sense: pride, anger and self righteousness. I'm not looking for any thing from you guys. Though one of my biggest sins is fear of man and not fear of the Lord. I just can never bring myself to walk down the aisle of the church Sunday morning and pray at the alter. So, if I may, I am using the Internet as a substitute to prayer at the alter. I am publicly confessing my sin, so that the Lord can begin to work in my heart. I always want this big awesome something to happen. I don't think the Lord works that way. Oh, He can. However, I think as I begin to honestly begin to acknowledge and repent of my sins then I will find that the joy of my Salvation is still there. Though I have stuffed it deep into the depths of a hardened heart, I trust the Lord to begin to soften the layers and bring it to the surface once again. Not for me, but for His Glory.

Forgive me Lord for my unbelief. I didn't realize that a Christian could have unbelief. I thought once you claimed Christ as Saviour that you were a believer. Not so. A believer yes, but still have unbelief. Lack of trust in the promises of the Bible.

This was going to be a short post and I feel my brain beginning to circle. I will be going to church in the morning, so I best be getting to bed.

I am still here. Guess I should add to my list of sins; laziness and gluttony.

Hope ya'll had a great Thanksgiving! Ours was nice and simple.

Great Day

It has indeed been a great day! We enjoyed the play and went to Applebee's afterward.
Gabrielle has been a delight to be with and 'her' young man is really nice. I like how he interacts with us and Kevin seems to get along with him, too.

There is only one thing wrong. Please forgive me a moment of whining.

I miss My Michael!

It is really getting hard, you guys. Please lift us in prayer if and when God calls us to mind. We'll see each other Dec 21st, but that is A.LONG.TIME. from now.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.
I will encounter various trials that I will count ALL JOY. (grossly paraphrased)

Michael, just in case you still can't pull e-mail, but can read here:
I LOVE YOU!

If...

... I lived close to my mom we'd have grand fun!

We'd go to church together.
we'd work in each others yards together.
we'd watch each others dogs for free,
we'd bake cookies together at holiday time
if I begged just right we'd make Christmas cards together
I'd be old enough to go to her breakfast club on Saturday's with her
on my day off she'd pop in for coffee
we'd go to my Aunt's house and help her with her many different projects.
we'd do grand silly things for the kids. (mine and my sisters)
we'd drive often together to my sister's house
we'd plan and prepare for all holidays to be held at her house
we'd fuss and fight. We're just too much alike not to. :)

The best part though is we'd live close so when that happened we could just pop in to hug and make up.

That just isn't where the Lord has us though. He knows the big picture that He has for us. For some reason that is me in California and her in Florida. We can't exactly just pop in for a cup of coffee and a hug. Sometimes I don't like His plan. But that's because I can't see the big picture. I have to just trust Him and count it ALL JOY.

Happy Birthday...

... to me. How old? If my sister was still 3 she'd declare me "old as dirt!"

I have received several cards from the church. My sister, her children, my Aunt and my mom all signed one of those big fun cards and mailed it to me. There is still a gift at church from my secret pal waiting on me.

My husband called last night, because where he is it was already my birthday. Isn't that odd? We lost signal on the phone, so the call was cut short. I'm just clinging to the knowledge that he called and he will again as soon as he can.

My Gabby came home last night with Greg. They stayed the night. Ok, put the eyebrows down. Gab sleeps with me in my bed and Greg sleeps in her room. Today all three kids are going to the local theater to see 4 one act plays with me. Greg and Gab are more than willing. Kevin agreed but made sure all I wanted from him was his company. I think he's finally getting it. :) We plan to go eat somewhere after the show. I haven't decided where yet. A local place where I'll most likely be the only one to enjoy the meal or a place down the hill that we would all enjoy.

So far it has been a great day. I cooked breakfast for every one.

I hope you guys have a wonderful Sunday!

Retreat

This year on impulse and invitation I went on a Ladies retreat with a church that is not my own. We went to Big Bear and I had a wonderful time. I have to be honest; the facilities that my church ladies were retreating to were much nicer. However, the speaker at this retreat was 'spot on'. Her energy and love for Jesus was wonderful and encouraging. I heard that the speaker at the retreat I missed was also awesome. I look forward to tracking down some audios from that retreat and hearing them as well.

The speaker at the Big Bear Retreat made a statement that sort of stuck in my caw. When she said it the first time it hung around in my brain.

You can have as much of God as you want.

Think about that. She followed it with so many other statements that I needed to hear that, that one kind of folded its way to the back of my brain.

Then at one of the meals she stopped at our table and spoke. We thanked her from coming and all that good stuff. Then I said to her, knowing that I was probably revealing more of me than I wanted to, "I so envy your obvious joy and delight in the Lord" She smiled leaned in and said to me, "You can have as much of God as you want."

WOW!! Rather than be embarrassed I was awe struck. Is that not so the truth?! He is right there just waiting to meet me and fill me with as much joy and delight as I can hold or possibly need.

There were many things that she spoke of that I have always heard that for some reason just stuck with me.

Like, how many times have I heard the word picture of how we are being refined as silver. The silver smith holds the silver over the heat until all the impurities are burned out and he can see his reflection in the silver.

God holds us over the heat in the way of trials in an effort to get rid of the impurities, and cause our roots to grow down deep so that He can see His reflection is us.

The things, large and small, that I see as a trial, I am to count it as joy. How many times have I heard this?! Then I went to the book store and picked up a book by Elisabeth George that gave me a visual on just how to do this. I can't wait to sit down and list all the 'trials' that I struggle with from with in and with out, and then check them off in JOY column, not the sorrow column.

Then the very last thing that was reinforced for me was this: We as women tend to set a million little goals for ourselves. I want to be a better mom, better wife, better employee, and any thing else you can think of when what our goal really needs to be is to spend more time in the Word, more time delighting in the LORD. Because when we do, all the other stuff will fall in to place.

So, I can't wait to have supper, visit with my son and then sit down to delight in the LORD. I'm going to read my book, make my list and count it all JOY and then read my Bible. Maybe not in that order. Please fell free to hold me accountable to my commitment.

We all know that it's easy the first day or two home from a week end of pure focus on the LORD. It's when all the responsibilities and habits show up that it gets 'hard'.

Thanks for letting me share. Remember:

We can have as much of God as we want. I just *love* that.

Happy Ending

On July 10th my Marine moved to a place where the Corps felt he needed to be with out his family. :( He is not in the sandy spot.
On July 15th his check directly deposited into our account. It was double his normal pay. I did expect the check to be more than usual because he would get separation pay. However, I knew this was not right. I called him and he checked into it.

For some reason, when he moved it affected our housing pay. We live on base in military housing so we get a certain amount of housing pay on paper. On said paper it shows that the housing pay is taken right back, never to be seen by us. The benefit is never having to write a check for 'rent'. He was told that I had to handle it on this end through the housing office. No problem. Yea right!!! What I didn't know!

I talked to many people in person and on the phone. Got many conflicting answers. Wrote an e-mail explaining my frustrations, situation and purposed solution so that this didn't happen to another family. Never received a response to my e-mail.

Went to housing to write a check for housing. I was not happy about it, in fact I was livid. But Michael had a good point. They could turn me into a credit agency and ruin our hard earned credit. So I wrote the check.

Went to write another check and was told by the secretary that she couldn't take any more money from me. Interesting. I knew from this, though no one had bothered to communicate with me, that something was being done.

Oct 15th I checked to see that Micheal's pay had been deposited, no pay. Two phone calls confirmed my suspicions. The military was once again deducting our housing pay directly from our check. Yea! That's what I wanted. Course, they are back tracking all the way to July, which took the whole check and will take all of the next. The good news is this Marine Corps wife has been around the block a few times and I set all that money aside.

Today I went to the housing office to have a talk. While I was happy about the change there were a few things that still needed to be straightened out. I was well received and two people spent a good bit of time with me going over the situation. He was able to pull information that I don't have access to and see what was going on. She was able to reassure me that I would be receiving a refund check and the check I wrote, that they held, would be returned to me. They were very nice and prepared for my visit. It was a very pleasant change and experience from the way it all started.

As I started to leave I asked if there was any thing I could do to help keep this from happening again. Something that would be a positive help. The man immediately told me to make sure I tell all the young Marine wives that when they get extra pay in their checks, the Marine Corps is not giving them a gift.

That was actually good advise. If I had been new to the Corps I can see how I would have thought that pay was ours. When Michael left he told me that we would be getting extra pay because we were separated. I could see some young, newly married wife believing that that was the extra pay he mentioned. Let me tell you, it may take a while for the Corps to catch the mistake but when they do they take it all back at once.

I know of only one young lady that reads my blog, that is married to a Marine. She is a very intelligent, creative young lady, and I'm sure she would recognize right away if there was something amiss in her pay. I thought of you immediately. When your Marine goes to that sandy spot, be prepared for your pay to be all jacked up. You may have no problems, but expect it. Keep your power of attorney on your person at all times and don't let any one brush you off.

Whew! That was way more advise than I intended.

In all seriousness. If you know any one in the military that may be deploying, warn the wife that any extra money is most likely a mistake. Also, have some extra put aside, it isn't unusual for the pay to be shorted at first.

Thanks for your eyes and time. :)