Wedding/Vows

I would like your opinions, but first I have a real life story to tell.

Michael and I were married on June 6, 1987. That means that this June we will have been married 20 years! That I believe, in all seriousness is a miracle. The wedding was beautiful. Every thing on that day went great. So why have I wanted to renew my vows since day one?

Bear with me there is a point. Michael was in California at school with the USMC and I was at home in PC enmeshed with family and trying to please and keep all happy. Don't be fooled, I wasn't doing this with a sweet cooperative attitude. Drama and it's about ME would be more to the point. Things that didn't go as planned:
1) Even though I was paying for the flowers I was convinced as to what I could and couldn't afford, as well as what was expected for a bride to carry. What I chose was a compromise and what arrived at the wedding is NOT what I ordered. It was enough of what I ordered that we knew they were my flowers. I was furious, however they looked good in the pictures.
2) The night of the rehearsal dinner the woman that I hired to make my cake called. I was rushing out the door and had given her all the info weeks ago. I just assumed she was confirming that what she had written down was what I wanted. NOT. When I described what I wanted on my cake in my rushed state that is exactly what showed up at the wedding. Fortunately, I didn't realize this until I got the pictures back. Talk about a plain ugly cake, My guest probably thought we ran out of money.
3) My sweet husband comes from a divided home. We met with the Pastor and seating arrangements were discussed. I didn't understand any thing and Michael refused to discuss the matter. So his step mother took things into her own hands and I ended up getting a phone call from his real mother stating she wouldn't be at the wedding. I spent 2 hours convincing her that Michael WANTED her at the wedding. I knew that for an absolute fact. So bless her heart she came with every family member on her side of the family that she could find and she came and sat at the back of the church. (We had invited all of her family, she just made sure they arrived with her) This still makes me so mad and sad!!! I was very proud of her.
4) In the rush I had completely forgotten about finding some one to sing. I wasn't stressed about this but my mom was having kittens! So she took it upon herself to resolve the problem with out asking me or Michael. As Michael and I sat in a church service one morning listening to a couple sing we looked at each other and said YUCK!! Not what we like at all. You guessed it, that is who sang at our wedding.
5) Finally, Michael owned a 1966 convertible Mustang that we wanted to leave the wedding in. We chose to stay in our wedding attire so that we could drive over the bridge and out onto the beach for all to see us as newlyweds. I even called my friend and asked her to decorate the car. Asking was probably tacky but Michael didn't want it to get messed up. When it came time to go mom wouldn't let us leave. She made us sit and open gifts as our guest slowly left. My Aunt's wedding gift was a ride in a limousine to our hotel. Nice gift and we were appreciative, but we just about cried as we drove past the Mustang sitting there waiting for us.

So see, I have always wanted to renew my vows so that I could get all the trimmings the way I truly wanted them in the first place. The re newing of the vows, though is not another wedding. Plus, I have grown and changed through the years. The real reason I want to renew my vows is to rededicate my life to my Husband. To say my vows to him before God recognizing and realizing that there is a covenant between the three of us. When I got married the first time it was about me and it was the next thing to do in life. This time I want it to be about us, with God first.

Michael would like to do this at the little chapel where we first got married. He wants to wear his Dress Blues with his new rank on them. He agrees that this is the perfect time to really do this because it is the 20 year mark, he is leaving for a year and the kids are just about grown.

My dilima?
1) I have no idea what would be considered an appropriate ceremony for a vow renewal. I know that a lot of that is personal preference, but I'm also sure there is some sort of unspoken guideline.
2) I agree having the ceremony in the original little chapel would be fun and significant. I pause for these reasons: it's on the East Coast away from friends, I would have to plan from here, and I wouldn't know the Pastor that would perform the ceremony.

On the East Coast family (hopefully) would be able to attend. It would be less formal so people could sit any where and every where. I originally wanted a very small wedding, but when you have 3 sets of parents inviting who they want and think they should it grew considerably very quickly.

If we did the ceremony here I could have my friends present, the ones that have watched us grow and Pastor could do the service. I know him and when I tried to explain what I wanted to accomplish he would get it.

Then I go to the far other extreme of keeping it very intimate and personal. Just Michael, me and the kids. Michael and I have already done all the apologizing to each other and the kids for our mistakes and the effects it has had on our lives. For me the purpose of the ceremony is to start fresh and affirm to each other and the kids our commitment to each other in spite of all the past.

Oh but I would really like people to be there and to have my Gabrielle sing and to have the flowers I wanted and a cake that is beautiful. To leave in the car of our choice. I would beg Michael's father who now has possession of the Mustang to allow us to barrow it for the evening. (if we were on the East Coast)

There is a part of me that wants to ditch this post and start over. The impulsive me says put it out there. I know you guys can't make my decision for me but you can answer some of the questions. After writing the post I'm now leaning very heavily towards going home. There will be obstacles to over come but it may be worth it and that is what my husband's first request was. Maybe I could poll the relatives and see who could actually attend. It would be a drive for all of them.

OK, my bloggy friends, your advise please. :)