Not an Easy Time

I have written a thousand blogs in my head. But can't seem to find the time to get to the computer. I can read from work, but writing or commenting is difficult.
Seems that we are short on staff and two girls still got to take vacation so that leaves just the 2 of us to take call. Every other night and the holiday isn't fun. Esp. since Michael is leaving for Oky on the 10th. It won't last and I did get my vacation, just the timing really stinks!!

Then there is the issue of how I am struggling so hard with this. I have been quite shocked at how I am handling things. When he went to Desert Storm I had just delivered Kevin. Well not just delivered, he was all of 6 weeks. Gabrielle was 13 months. There were relatives swarming the place in shifts; what with Michael leaving and a new grandkid in the house there would have been no keeping them away. I never would have wanted to. The point is I was kept busy and surrounded with family. He was gone before I had time to blink and then I had no choice but to kick into survival mode.

This time my kids are 17 and 18. I'm working what seems like all the time and struggling with old anger issues. I know that when the time comes I'll kick in the old survival mode method. In the mean time I'm praying to hold the tongue and tears in check so that I can actually enjoy this wonderful gift of a man that God has given me.

Now, on that note I have to go find him! He left to take Gab somewhere this morning and has yet to return home. That 45 min trip has turned into about 3 hours. This is typical of my husband so I'm not worried so much as frustrated. I actually managed to have the day off, though on call and was hoping to spend it with him. I thought I had communicated that with him; obviously not very well. :)

I'll be back with a smile eventually. I only air my dirty laundry because a know there is a slew of you out there that kind of sort of like me or at least see that I could stand to be up lifted in prayer. I have been lurking; your post have made me cry and laugh and have kept me connected with reality. Thank you ever so much.